Only who has renounced can love. To the degree you have renounced, to that degree will you have the ability to love. Often people think those who renounce cannot love, and those who love cannot renounce. This is because renunciates do not seem to be in love, and so-called lovers are possessive and needy.
True love is not possessive, it brings freedom, and renunciation is nothing but freedom. Only in freedom can love blossom fully. When you are in love you say, “I want nothing, I just want this”. Renunciation is, “I do not want anything. I am free”. In love there is no other need. Renunciation is having no need. Love and renunciation, although appearing to be opposites, are two sides of the same coin.
Does this mean the lover renounces his beloved? No, you renounce the attachment, the possessiveness. Renunciation doesn’t diminish love, it enhances it. Only renunciation can sustain love and joy. Without renunciation love turns into misery, possessiveness, jealousy and anger. Renunciation brings contentment and contentment sustains love.
Without renunciation one gets discontented, frustrated, sad, fearful, suspicious, analytical. And the whole soap opera begins. And this is what we find in society don’t we? So-called renunciates have run away from life frustrated and disappointed. Real renunciation is born out of knowledge and wisdom, knowledge of life in the background of time and space and in the context of this magnanimous universe. You have to rejoice in the means. You have to love the means. Love is the goal but the means must also be lovable. Love springs forth when there is no effort, when all activities are shunned.
Love is your nature. When love finds an expression, you often become ensnared get caught up in the object. Your sight is caught outside. To return to your nature, you need insight.
Pain is the first insight. It takes you away from the object and turns you towards your body and mind. Energy is the second insight. A bolt of energy brings you back to your self. Divine love is the third insight. A glimpse of Divine love makes you complete and overrules all relative pleasures. Ecstasy is the fourth insight. An elevation of consciousness and partial awareness of the physical reality around you is ecstasy. Non-dual awareness, that everything is made up of one and only one, is the fifth insight.