What is true intimacy?

 

True intimacy is one-sided and non-judgmental. It starts from inside. The test for truth is to kick it. What is true will come back to you. If it comes back to you, it is yours. What goes away with a kick was never yours. 

The nature of everything in creation is to come back home. Everything goes back to its origin. A plant comes from the soil and it goes back to the soil. Water comes up from the ocean and it goes back to the ocean. Coming back to the source is the nature of everything in creation. We are innocent when we are born. When we become very old, we become like that again, innocent.

A child has little capacity to comprehend and communicate. When it goes through life and becomes an old man, it completes the circle, whether by choice or not by choice. Those who live long enough become like a child again. If you have ever spoken to people who are 95 or 100 years old, you will feel that they are like children now. They can’t understand or communicate. Like children they get stuck on one thing.

They say something and they stick to it. Children say, “Pa, pa, pa, pa”. In same way old people also repeat. When children do it, it is more joyful, although sometimes the mother gets angry at the children. But when old people do it you feel frustrated because your way of looking at a child and an old man is totally different. Your expectation from both of them is totally different.

So your own expectations cause irritations in you. Your own judgements cause irritations in you. True intimacy is non-judgmental. It is not looking at whether the old person loves you or not, whether the other person loves you or not, whether the other person treats you well or not. That is none of your business. If I want to be intimate with somebody, I take it for granted that they feel they love me. When you doubt whether the other person loves you or not, then your love for the other person goes down.

There is no way you can know the love of another person. If you base your perception only on the expression of love, you are mis-lead. Someone may say, “Oh, you are so wonderful, I love you so much”. And if you think that they mean that, or if you think someone who doesn’t say, “Oh I love you so much”, doesn’t love you, then you are mistaken. Action does not always represent the truth of the state of being.

In true intimacy you stop looking at the act and you Start being in love. So if you have determined to love somebody, do not even think whether they love you are not. You love them. That is enough. If they kick you to see whether the love in you is true or not, then you should have more happiness. Then, also you give love back. True love is coming back to the self. That is true intimacy.

Understanding aversions and cravings

 

I wouldn't say you are always connected to the earth, I would say you are part of this earth. Have you ever thought, as you sat at your dining table and took a loaf of bread in your hand, "This is my body? This bread that is going inside me will become the cells in my body. This bread is my future body. It is just a matter of some time?" 

You have a cup of milk in front of you. Have you ever thought, "This is part of my body? This milk is going to be my blood? Is it not true? When Jesus started the mass, he told people This is my flesh. This is my blood".

He meant, "This entire creation is my body". Feel one with everything. The food you eat, you are part of already! Before eating it, you are part of it. That is your flesh already. Jesus told them, "Don't lament. Don't think I am just in this body. This bread is my body. All the food in the world is my body because this food becomes my body".

What is the big thing about the body? When this body goes, another body will come because the food is there always. The food creates the body. If you eat food with all awareness, I am you. This consciousness, awareness that is me, that you feel is so beautiful is in you too. You don't lack a thing that I have.

This body is not my flesh. This bread is my flesh. This flesh is this bread. Know the difference between physical body and the flesh, and this entire world becomes your body.

That is cosmic consciousness. All are mine. It is all like my own finger. Everybody is part of me. When you know everyone is part of you, then all your cravings disappear, all your aversions disappear. Your cravings come because you think you don't have. Your aversions come because you don't want to have what you think you have. 

Do you see the irony of it? When you know everything already belongs to you, your cravings subside. When you know whatever you are averse to is part of you, then aversion disappears. And total synthesis happens and unity dawns. Even the word unity is not the right word. That also indicates a duality. If you can say one, there have to be two. 

So I say, language is inadequate to express any truth about existence. It is better to keep silent. This understanding of cravings and aversions applied to the situation of daily life becomes a valuable spiritual practice.