Navigating life using four techniques

 

A wise person is said to have four techniques, both inwardly and outwardly — sama, dana, bheda and danda. To deal with people in the world, to be wise in the world, the first thing you use is sama which means engaging with the world with peace and understanding. When that doesn’t work out, then you go to the second method called dana which means allowing it to happen, forgiving, creating a space. When people don’t recognise your generosity in allowing them space, then the third principle called bheda comes. This means to create a discrimination, make a difference, intentionally create a distance. If somebody is at loggerheads with you, first you talk to them. When that doesn’t work out, then, with the same love, you just ignore them. Allow them to realise it for themselves. Your generosity, your letting go, should make people realise their mistake. If they don’t notice even then, then you start using bheda – create a difference.

The same four methods apply to your inner life, your being. However, in inner life, it is not one after another. Sama – to maintain equanimity through both pleasant and unpleasant sensations. Dana means giving up that which disturbs you, that which cannot put you in the royal seat of equanimity. It means to surrender the mind which is the cause of your sorrows, problems and misery. Negative actions bring suffering and positive actions create some pleasure. But after some time, any action, and its fruit, vanishes.

Dana (giving), includes forgiving also. When your mind wanders around, allow it to go. Don’t try to hold it back. Follow it and bring it back. Not saying, “I am sick and tired of my mind. My mind makes me feel jealous and it is very bad!” Don’t start hating your mind. Forgive your mind.

Now comes bheda- discriminate between the imperishable from the perishable. This very body is so hollow and empty. When you are watching the body, pleasant and unpleasant sensations arise. As you watch, they all disappear. Energy oozes out of every pore of your body. If you watch, it flows in an even manner. It creates balance. And you realise you are not this body or these sensations. You have been always reacting to the sensations. An emotion used to give rise to some sensation; the sensation, in turn, used to create an impression, another emotion. So these circles of craving and aversion with sensation and emotion, made your life, both subtle body and gross body, and that took you from life to life.

Another thing that you can do is to disassociate yourself from the sensation. A grief is coming. You say, “This is something that is changing. I shall not associate with it. I’ll watch the sensation instead.” It becomes very intense and disappears. It is the same with a pleasant sensation.

Then comes danda; danda means support. Determination and commitment are the danda. Your spiritual discipline is danda. Mind is like a vine (creeper), it needs support. Listening to spiritual discourses, satsang, practice, Guru’s presence are all the support, the danda.

Meditation can help create a society free from stress and violence

 

People die by suicide because they feel like there is no escape from misery. In today’s fast-paced world, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and isolated. Whether you are young or old, navigating the uncertainties of the future, and grappling with the pressures of daily life, it is crucial to remember that you are not alone. 

The foundation of our society lies in compassion, and there are people who genuinely care and are there to support you through thick and thin. While we openly talk about physical health issues like diabetes, mental health concerns often remain hidden due to stigma. Breaking this barrier is crucial. We must create a safe and understanding environment where people feel comfortable discussing their mental health struggles without fear of judgment. Just as we openly talk about a physical ailment, it is equally important to speak openly about depression or any mental health issue. 

When energy levels or prana (life force) goes down you get low and when it goes further down it can lead to suicidal tendencies. When the energy is high, this thought is less likely to arise. You will not be violent to yourself or others when your energy is high. Through proper breathing exercises, some meditation and good company, energy can go up. Anyone with suicidal tendencies should be guided into meditation and some breathing exercises to raise their energy level. Every day, for ten minutes, meditate and become hollow and empty. 

We need to create a society free from stress and violence, and the way for it is through meditation. Ensure you get good sleep. Utilise free time to exercise, jog or run for better circulation. Engage in reading books that uplift your spirits like Bhagvad Gita and Upanishads. Stay busy with knowledge, music, and seva (service) to prevent recurring negative thoughts. 

Let us assure the younger generation, and everyone else that they are not alone in this journey of life. Let’s break the silence around mental health and embrace the power of social connection. Together, we can make a difference in each other’s lives, spreading hope, and lighting up the world with the warmth of human kindness.

Meditation, pranayama and prayer eliminates doubts

 

When a child starts becoming aware of its own body, it starts asking more and more questions. And when the body matures into adolescent stage, there are ever so many questions that reel in the mind. Doubt is that state of mind where it’s not fully alive. Answers cannot satisfy doubt. Hearing and seeing cannot eliminate doubt. 

Only prana can eliminate doubt. When a doubt arises in your mind, know that your prana has gone down. The life in you is dull. The wick in the lamp is going down. On the day you do pranayama or deep breathing, you feel so alive. Every cell in your body is alive, and then there is no doubt in the mind. You feel so wonderful because of this. There is no split in your consciousness. 

Doubt is the split. A portion is awake and another major portion is asleep – the unfulfilled. And when the prana is high, you are so fulfilled. So when you have doubts, do more sadhana or practice of deep breathing. This is called shraddha or faith, the opposite of doubt. It starts with self-doubt doubting the self, doubting everything in the world and doubting the Divine. 

Moments of doubt are like clouds. The clouds do come, but they come and disappear. If you do not cooperate or engage with them, they will simply come and go. If you shake hands with them and flow with them, then it will take a longer time to overcome them. Truth will always stand out and win in the end. Doubts may come, and this is quite possible because of the company that we keep.

There are three types of faith in the world (being Hindu, Muslim or Christian, is not types of faith). There are only three types of people who have faith, i.e. there are three types of faith – in the divine, in the universe and in the world.  

There are people who just believe or have faith in the material world. You have to believe in the world. You do not know everything about this world and you believe in what you do not know. There is no need to believe what you know. You have to believe what you do not know. You do not know about anybody. You do not know about yourself, your wife, children, husband, your parents, or anybody. Do you think you know anything about them? If you think you do, you are mistaken. You know something about them, partially. 

Faith in your Self, faith in the world and faith in something we do not know, the Divine. You can start from anywhere. Any one point will lead to all three; all three come together. When doubts arise in you, keep a fast, meditate, do pranayama and prayers, and see the shift that happens and the doubts vanish. There’s a shift in your consciousness.

Bhagvad Gita

 

Don’t think the Bhagvad Gita got over long time ago. It’s still going on everyday in each and every person’s life. Our life is all these 18 chapters of the Gita.

In your life, you can see which chapter you are in now. Where are you stuck? 1st Chapter? 2nd? 3rd?

Dealing with jealousy

 

There is a verse by Kabir: “I went to find a bad person in the universe, and I found none.” All human beings are good! There are negative tendencies in people but that is not the basic human nature. That is only on the circumference.

Why do we behave negatively? Because we are hurt. A happy, joyful person will never do harm to anyone. 

Antidote to jealousy is the knowledge that everybody is going to die. You and the person, whom you are jealous of, are both going to die. It is better to compare yourself with your own self. How you were 10 years or five years ago and what you can be yet tomorrow. The fact that you are a sane human being is enough.

What to do if you are jealous of other people? 1. Know that the person has done some good karma in the past and they are now reaping the fruit. 2. Take it as an inspiration to gain merit now. 3. Create a sense of belongingness with them. See that they are a part of you. 4. Think of all you have that they don’t have and feel grateful. 5. Think of so many others who have much less than you have.

What to do if others are jealous of you? 1. Praise them in superlatives. 2. Create a sense of belongingness in them by your kind actions. 3. Know that their feelings are temporary. 4. The best is not to recognise their envy or jealousy at all. If you recognise a feeling as a reality, it only makes your ignorance grow. 5. Know all feelings and emotions are just like passing clouds.

In the Geeta, Krishna talks about all the good qualities. And then He adds that they are already in you. Just like in an atom, the core is positive and the negativity is peripheral. Don’t ever think deep inside you is all sorrow or anger or jealousy. Know that it’s not in the core.

Everything is interdependent

 

One who asks for independence is a beggar. One who knows that it is an illusion is a king. Life is such; you should not feel “I am dependent, and I want to be independent”. The body is dependent on the whole creation. When the spirit identifies with the body, it gets pinched and looks for independence.

Mind, intellect and ego look for independence too and, in doing so, one often gets stuck in the ego and becomes more miserable. Most people are not aware of their dependence. When they become aware of their limitations and dependence, the desire for independence arises. On one level, dependence is a harsh reality, on another, an illusion because there is nothing else but the self. It’s only when one doesn’t feel oneness and belongingness that one wants independence.

The self is non-dual, so there is no question of dependence or independence. When the sense of belongingness is not well founded, there is a volatile state in the life of a seeker. Then, the ego finds some excuse to revert to smallness. It is not yet totally soaked in the totality of knowledge. As it is not used to it, the mind finds every little excuse to revert to the ego and be aloof, independent and separate. It finds any small fault and blows it out of proportion. People who want to have independence are also frustrated. When you were a baby, were you not dependent? As a baby, parents took care of you, and, in your old age, your children or someone else will take care of you. So life, in the beginning and in the end is dependence.

Whether in the form of parents or as children or as friends, the help you get from anywhere is coming from only one source, divinity. It is only the divine who took care of you as your parents, and it is only the divine who will take care of you as your nurse or neighbour or friends or anybody else. Someone will always come and take care of you; you don’t have to worry at all. If your attention is on divinity, you will not feel the burden of dependence, or the frustration to have independence. Both will disappear.

In fact, the word ‘independent’ is obsolete. Independence cannot be achieved unless you start moving from within. When you move within, you discover that you are interdependent. Every wise person knows that everything is interdependent and that there is nothing like independence. We have one nature, one ocean, one air, one earth and everyone is dependent on it. We are interdependent. From tailor to farmer, from teacher to doctor — we depend on all for some purpose or another.

When you have this deep realisation that you are not the roles you play, but something beyond, then that is freedom; that is independence.

Honoring the Guru Tattva

 

An acharya gives ‘shiksha’ (knowledge) but a guru gives ‘diksha’, which is the height of awareness. A guru simply does not stuff you with knowledge but kindles the life force in you. In guru’s presence you become more alive, every cell in your body becomes alive. That is called ‘diksha’. It is the height of intelligence and not information. An acharya gives you information and knowledge but a guru invokes intelligence and not just the intellect. The pinnacle of intellect is intelligence, awaken intelligence. So, a guru awakens intelligence, not information.

Mind is connected with the moon and the full moon is a symbol of completion and celebration. So, Guru Purnima is the day when the disciple wakes up in his fullness and wakefulness. In that wakefulness, he can’t be but grateful. And it is the gratitude of advaita, of oneness. It is not like a river moving from one place to another. It is an ocean moving within itself. Gratefulness and Guru Purnima symbolises the fullness of the student, of the disciple. And celebrates in gratitude.

Guru communicates in silence. And then all doubts simply disappear - Sri Nathadi Guru Thrayam. There are three levels of gurus and there are three different forms of gurus.

The first is the absolute form, which is all-permeating. He is everywhere. Another form of guru is knowledge. The third is the physical form. In such a way our being, our consciousness works. Our consciousness has three bodies: First is the physical body, next is the subtle body, emotions and thoughts and then the causal body which is pure consciousness.

Guru Purnima is the day when the person recognises the physical form. Knowledge belongs to the subtle because causally it is all-pervading and beyond the dimension of time. It is everywhere, at any time, all the time. All three are forms of one guru tattva (Guru principle). Therefore, we celebrate all the forms the guru appeared in. Those many forms help us at every step of our life.

Guru is not just the physical body. He is omnipresent, omnipotent and cannot be separated from life. He is light, knowledge, wisdom, and body. All things together. This entire universe is the body of the guru. Therefore, having a guru in one’s life means that you have everything in life – bliss, happiness, comfort and knowledge. Liberation is impossible without a guru.

The guru’s job is not to find you a job or relationships, those are extras things. The important aspect is inner freedom and the realisation that you are light and you are space. That is the main goal. And how we move towards the goal all other things come along the way. When the guru says: “We are one, that is knowledge. Therefore, you are not alone on this journey toward infinity. I’m with you, you’re not alone, there is no separation.”

Guru Purnima is the day when you honour the guru tattva which is present everywhere. When you dishonour this, the darkness dawns. Understand this wisdom that the giver is giving you everything that is needed in abundance, start utilising the gift. Use the intelligence that is given, it only sharpens when used. If you have a good voice, use it for others because it’s a gift.

You must love and serve others without wanting anything in return. This is important usually we think I gave so much love to that person what did he give me in return. In this way we try to make the other person feel that we have done them a great favour by loving them, this we must not do. Love is your nature; it is acting with dignity, naturalness, compassion and simplicity and we are born with these qualities.

Surrender all your qualities and become hollow and empty to come closer to the guru tattva, this is what you need to do, surrender all your positive and negative qualities and be happy.