A wise person is said to have four techniques, both inwardly and outwardly — sama, dana, bheda and danda. To deal with people in the world, to be wise in the world, the first thing you use is sama which means engaging with the world with peace and understanding. When that doesn’t work out, then you go to the second method called dana which means allowing it to happen, forgiving, creating a space. When people don’t recognise your generosity in allowing them space, then the third principle called bheda comes. This means to create a discrimination, make a difference, intentionally create a distance. If somebody is at loggerheads with you, first you talk to them. When that doesn’t work out, then, with the same love, you just ignore them. Allow them to realise it for themselves. Your generosity, your letting go, should make people realise their mistake. If they don’t notice even then, then you start using bheda – create a difference.
The same four methods apply to your inner life, your being. However, in inner life, it is not one after another. Sama – to maintain equanimity through both pleasant and unpleasant sensations. Dana means giving up that which disturbs you, that which cannot put you in the royal seat of equanimity. It means to surrender the mind which is the cause of your sorrows, problems and misery. Negative actions bring suffering and positive actions create some pleasure. But after some time, any action, and its fruit, vanishes.
Dana (giving), includes forgiving also. When your mind wanders around, allow it to go. Don’t try to hold it back. Follow it and bring it back. Not saying, “I am sick and tired of my mind. My mind makes me feel jealous and it is very bad!” Don’t start hating your mind. Forgive your mind.
Now comes bheda- discriminate between the imperishable from the perishable. This very body is so hollow and empty. When you are watching the body, pleasant and unpleasant sensations arise. As you watch, they all disappear. Energy oozes out of every pore of your body. If you watch, it flows in an even manner. It creates balance. And you realise you are not this body or these sensations. You have been always reacting to the sensations. An emotion used to give rise to some sensation; the sensation, in turn, used to create an impression, another emotion. So these circles of craving and aversion with sensation and emotion, made your life, both subtle body and gross body, and that took you from life to life.
Another thing that you can do is to disassociate yourself from the sensation. A grief is coming. You say, “This is something that is changing. I shall not associate with it. I’ll watch the sensation instead.” It becomes very intense and disappears. It is the same with a pleasant sensation.
Then comes danda; danda means support. Determination and commitment are the danda. Your spiritual discipline is danda. Mind is like a vine (creeper), it needs support. Listening to spiritual discourses, satsang, practice, Guru’s presence are all the support, the danda.
