Why correcting a mistake is also a mistake

 

Mistakes keep happening all the time. Often you want to correct them. How much can you correct? There are two situations when you correct others' mistakes.  

• You correct someone's mistake because it bothers you. But even if you correct it, this does not work.
• You correct someone's mistake not because it bothers you, but for their sake so that they can grow.  

To correct mistakes, you need authority and love. Authority and love seem to be contradictory, but in reality they are not. Authority without love is stifling. Love without authority is shallow.

A friend needs to have both authority and love, but they need to be in the right combination. This can happen if you are totally dispassionate and centered. When you allow room for mistakes, you can be both authoritative and sweet.  

That is how the Divine is, the right balance of both. Krishna and Jesus had both. Don't make mistakes by pointing out mistakes.

Once a lady came to me and said her husband had lied to her. She was very upset. I asked, “Why does your husband lie to you? Because he loves you and is afraid to lose or hurt you. If he did not love you, he wouldn't lie to you.”  

Do not tell a person a mistake he knows he has committed. By doing this, you will only make him feel more guilty. A magnanimous person will not pick on the mistakes of others and make them feel guilty; he will correct them with compassion and care.

Understanding your boundaries

 

Every time you are unhappy or miserable, you are just coming in touch with your own boundaries. And what can you do? You can just feel thankful: “Oh, I came in touch with my boundary, my limitation. This was my limitation.”

You just turn the whole situation into prayer: “Let there be peace, not just in me but in everybody.” Prayer is that moment when you come in touch with your limitations, your boundaries.

You are peaceful, you are joyful, you are happy as long as you have not come in contact with your boundaries. The moment that you do, what can you do? You can just say, “My Lord, My God, you have made me become aware of my boundaries. You bring peace. I am giving it all to You.”

That very moment you will start smiling. However hopeless the situation is, you will walk through it, sing through it, dance through it. This is love.

In Hindi, love is written with two-and-a-half letters. They say, “Who is a master, who is a pundit, who is a wise person? Not one who has studied a lot of scriptures, but one who has studied the two-and-a-half letters.”

It is a test of the moment, when you come in touch with your limitations, your boundaries. You are happy, peaceful. Are you in the boundaries? Or are you maintaining your boundless self and the innocent love in the heart? Is it remaining? If it is, then nothing can rob you of peace.

Making short term and long term plans

 

At any given point of time, our mind is oscillating between the past and the future. Either it is angry or sad about the past or anxious about the future. Whatever actions you do in this state of mind, you regret after sometime.  

Does it mean that you should not plan your future? No. You should plan your short and long term goals. Then, and only then, life gets a channel, a direction to flow. When the mind is totally in the present, the right planning happens.  

Not only should you plan your goals, but plan the means and methods to work towards them. Where would you like to see yourself after three years? After 20 years? After 40 years? Don't be feverish about the result. Give your 100%.  

If you are feverish about the results, it will lead you to disappointment. Do not make a list of all the things you want to achieve. Select few things that really matter.  

Once a teacher brought a glass jar to the class and a bag with some big stones, some small stones and some sand. He asked the students to put all the contents from the bag into the glass jar. Some students put the sand first, then small stones and there was no place for big stones.  

The teacher later explained that had they put the bigger stones first, then the smaller stones, there was always space around the stones for all the sand in the bag. This example teaches us an important lesson in prioritizing things.  

If we put the things that will give us maximum fulfillment in the long term, smaller things will automatically fall into place. Among all the planets in the solar system, the earth is privileged to host life in its many forms, and among all the species, humans are most privileged, for they can host knowledge.  

Again and again, remember that you are peace, you are love, you are joy.

What exactly is a guru?

 

A disciple’s job is to satisfy his spiritual master, but how can you satisfy someone who is already satisfied? If your guru is satisfied, then your growth is slowed, but if your guru is unsatisfied, he is away from the Self. 

If your guru is satisfied, then what can inspire you to grow? If he is unsatisfied, he cannot be a guru. And if he is satisfied, he cannot be a guru! So what is the answer?

A guru is nothing but wisdom and love. He is that principle, which is wisdom and love, which is awakened in each one who has stepped onto the path. He is also that person in whom there is no gap between life, wisdom and love. 

Often one recognizes wisdom but sees a gap between wisdom and one’s own life. The purpose of becoming a disciple of a guru is to bridge that gap. Being with a guru means spontaneous integration of life and wisdom.

Knowledge is like a coconut tree

 

Knowledge must be digested properly, and an inability to do so causes: 

• False ego, which has no cure. 
• Disinterest, taking things for granted, lack of awareness. 
• Familiarity without understanding, without depth – shallowness. 
• A tendency to preach. “Heart” burn. 
• Using knowledge for one’s own small ends. 
• Adamancy, stubbornness.

If you are in love with the Divine, then you can digest knowledge. Love is the appetizer, knowledge is the main course and seva is the exercise. Without love and seva, knowledge becomes indigestible.

A coconut tree is a natural desalination plant. It takes salt water from the earth and makes fresh water inside the coconut. Knowledge is like that tree – it takes us from salty mud to pure bliss.

The right vision needed for knowledge

 

Knowledge will be different at different levels of consciousness. At a particular level of consciousness, you will achieve anasuya, which is a state of mind that is devoid of fault-finding eyes. If a mirror is dusty, you need to clean it. But if your eyes have cataracts, any amount of dusting the mirror will not help. First you have to remove the cataracts, then you can see that the mirror is clean. 

There is a type of mindset that always finds fault, even in the best of conditions. Even when people with this mindset have the best, they still find faults. With the best possible companion, or the most beautiful painting, they will still find something wrong. That kind of mindset cannot know sacred knowledge. 

Krishna tells Arjuna that he is giving him a royal secret because he achieved the state of anasuya. “You find no fault in me even though you are so close.” From a distance, even craters cannot be seen, and up close, even on a smooth surface there will be holes. If you are only interested in the holes, you will not see the magnanimity of things. If you are not in anasuya, knowledge cannot blossom and there is no point in giving knowledge to you. 

What about discrimination – wisdom? If it is in your vision, your perception, then you will find discrimination. The moment you are off the path, everything will be wrong. That is not anasuya. For example, after ten years of friendship you no longer see the good in that relationship; you only find faults. However, once you discover you have the wrong vision – you have discovered your cataracts – then half of the problem disappears. 

There is a fine line here. Instead of saying, “My vision is blurred,” you say, “The whole world is not sharp.” Suppose someone is coming through a door but it is windy, so you shut the door. If the person thinks the door has been slammed in his face, then this is asuya, not anasuya. 

Most people are like this. Asuya is finding fault. It is seeing malicious intent everywhere. It is like a child who says, “Mother, you do not love me!” The child’s vision is wrong. If a mother does not love her child, who will? It is the same when someone comes and says, “Guruji, you do not love me!” If I do not love him, then nobody else in the world will. Where else will they find love? Nowhere. A mother may get frustrated but not a master. 

Can a person achieve anasuya without being enlightened? Not always. Such questions are only excuses. To find enlightenment, you must have this vision.

Don't fight for your rights

 

Those who fight for their rights are weak for they do not know their inner strength, their magnanimity. The weaker you are, the more you demand your rights. Asserting your rights makes you isolated and poor. 

People who fight for their rights take pride in it. This is an ignorant pride. You need to recognize no one can take away your rights. They are yours.

The courageous will give away their rights. The degree to which you give away your rights indicates your freedom, your strength. The stronger you are the more you give away your rights. Only those who have their rights can give them away! Demanding rights does not really bring them to you, and in giving them away you do not really lose them.

Poor are those who demand their rights. 

Richer are those who know their rights cannot be taken away. 

Richest are those who give away their rights. 

Demand for rights is ignorance, agony. 

Knowing no one can take away your rights is freedom. 

Giving away your rights is love, wisdom.

Understanding "sacrifice" and the paradox of it

 

All the scriptures of the world glorify sacrifice. But what is sacrifice?

It is giving up something you value. You can only sacrifice something that you would like to keep for yourself, something that gives you pleasure and joy. You cannot sacrifice something that you dislike or disown. 

Sacrifice is always related to a higher cause for a greater good. At the same time, when your love for the greater good is so strong, nothing else assumes any value. Sacrifice here becomes irrelevant, because love alone is your strongest driving force. When there is so much love, there cannot be sacrifice and when there is no love, there is no sacrifice. 

If a mother has made plans to see a movie and she realizes that her child is sick, she does not say that she sacrificed the movie to care for her child because she simply did not want to go. Nothing else charms the mother besides being with her child. 

You do not sacrifice something for someone you love. Sacrifice indicates that your pleasure has more value than the cause for which you are sacrificing. When love is lukewarm, then sacrifice assumes meaning. Yet sacrifice purifies the human mind and reins in selfish tendencies. It can also bring pride, arrogance, self-pity and sometimes even depression. 

You can sacrifice only that which you value. For a wise man nothing is more valuable than truth, values and the Divine, and he will never sacrifice those. 

God is the greatest, and if someone values the greatest, how can he sacrifice God? This is the paradox of sacrifice.

Belongingness changes your perspective

 

Whether you win or lose an argument with your Guru, your Master, you still laugh. 

Normally what happens to you when you lose an argument? You are sad and upset, hurt and angry. But when you lose or win an argument with me, you are still happy. Why? 

Because you have a total sense of belongingness; your love is more important than perfection, comfort and desires; you are able to put your Being before a happening; and you have confidence in the ultimate good. 

When there is a total sense of belongingness, real play happens. Winning or losing is irrelevant. Can you have this same attitude with everyone?

Love (is an extension of) thy Self

 

When you love something, you have a sense of belongingness with it. You can only love something when it belongs to you. If it is not yours, you cannot love it. 

Love is the shadow of the Self. The bigger the Self, the bigger the shadow and the bigger the love. 

When love is cast over all of creation, then you are the Big Self. That is Lordship. When Lordship dawns in the Self, there is perennial celebration.

Decoding the love-truth paradox

 

Why would someone tell a lie to their dear ones or to their beloved? This is a question often asked by lovers. Love cannot stand untruth; it causes relationships to fall apart. The answer lies in understanding the paradox of love and truth.

People tell lies just to save and maintain their love. Lies are a result of fear that the truth might damage the love between husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, parents and children. 

In love you feel weak but truth brings strength. So why do people prefer love over truth, weakness over strength? No one wants to sacrifice love. Thus people are ready to give up the truth for their love. Love takes the luster out of truth. Sometimes truth can make love bitter; while in love, even lies can appear sweet, like Krishna’s lies to his mother, Yashoda. 

The truth that does not nourish love makes no sense and the love that cannot withstand the truth is not true love. When you are assured that your love is so strong that the truth can neither break it nor cause bitterness, then the truth prevails and love shines. 

With truth there are judgments, but true love is beyond judgments. Thus true love makes you weak and yet it is the greatest strength.

How to lose your dispassion

 

There are three types of dispassion. 

The first type is the dispassion that arises when you realize the misery in the world and you fear misery. The events in life – the pain and suffering you experience or see – bring dispassion. 

The second type of dispassion is born out of your desire to achieve something higher. Some consider dispassion as a path to enlightenment – by renouncing something here they hope to gain something out there. They engage in austerities and take vows to have a better place in heaven. 

The third type of dispassion comes from wisdom or knowledge. A broader understanding of the transient nature of things cultures a state of non-attachment to events, objects, people, or situations, and this lets you remain calm and unperturbed. 

Divine love does not let dispassion manifest. The attainment of love brings such bliss and such intoxication that it not only takes away your passion, but dispassion as well.

Just "be", but don't be lazy

 

Just Be. 

Joy is dissolving... losing your identity.

Rest is dissolving... losing your identity. 

Love is dissolving... losing your identity. 

Relax and just be. 

That does not mean be lazy... No! Be very busy... and just be. 

Events come and go, they perish like flowers. But every event and every person contains some honey. Like a bee, just take the honey out of every event and every moment and move on. Be like a busy bee and be in the Being. 

If you ask me, what is the nectar of life, the answer is, the Infinity...the Divinity.

Connection between love and authority - II

 

Usually, where there is aishwarya – lordship – there is no madhurya – sweetness – and where there is madhurya, there is no aishwarya. Where life has blossomed fully, there is both. Aishwarya means ishwaratva – lordship of that which “Is.” Wealth is also referred to as aishwarya, because wealth commands a certain amount of authority. 

Can love and authority co-exist? Only in a fully blossomed Being is there both lordship and sweetness. There was aishwarya in Sri Rama, but only glimpses of madhurya. In Parshuram’s life there was only lordship, but no madhurya. Buddha manifested more madhurya – the sweetness – and less authority. 

But Krishna manifested both and so did Jesus. There was lordship when they said, “I am the way,” and there was sweetness in their expressions of prayer and love. I am the valentine of the whole world and I reside in every heart. If you are my valentine, you will see me everywhere. Have the same love for everyone, but with different flavors. You cannot behave the same way with everyone, but you can love all of them the same. Love transcends behavior and etiquette. 

In a congregation, when asked, “How many of you feel strong?”, many people raised their hands. When asked, “Why?” they responded “Because you are with us.” Only those who feel weak can surrender. All those who were feeling strong were taken aback; suddenly they felt weak! If you are in love, you feel weak because love makes you weak. Yet there is no power stronger than love. Love is strength. Love is the greatest power on earth. You feel absolutely powerful when you are with the Divine.

Yet we keep alternating between strength and weakness. That is the fluctuation in life. When you feel weak – surrender. When you feel strong – do seva.

Connection between love and authority - I

 

Love and authority are totally opposite values, yet they coexist. 

The grosser the consciousness, the more pronounced must be authority. The more refined and subtle the consciousness, the less need to exercise authority. When you are unrefined, you demand authority and when you demand authority, love recedes. 

Asserting authority indicates a lack of confidence and love. The more evident one’s authority, the less sensitive and effective it will be. A sensible person will not demand authority at all but will assume it. The most effective business leaders will not impose their authority, will not make you feel it, for authority can never bring inspiration. 

Your sincere servant has more authority over you than your boss. A baby has full authority over his mother. Similarly, a devotee has complete authority over the Divine, though he never exercises it. Remember that:

• The less love you have, the more pronounced will be your authority. 
• The greater your love, the subtler will be your authority. 
• The subtler you become, the more authority you gain. 

Making sense of one senses

 

Your body is like a washing machine, your mind is like your clothing, each lifetime is like one washing cycle, pure water is like love, and knowledge is the detergent. 

The mind enters the body to get cleansed and purified. But if instead of detergent you use dirt, then you have dirty clothes, dirtier than before. You will have to continue putting clothes in the washing machine to get them cleaned. And the process repeats again and again. 

Similarly, you will have many more births until you stop repeating the mistakes that you have made.

Fights can only happen among equals. When you fight with someone, you make that person your equal. But in reality there is no one at par with you. When you keep people either above you or below you, there is no fight. When people are above you, you respect them. When they are below you, you love them and feel compassionate.

Either submission or compassion can quickly stop a fight. This is something to consider when you are tired of fighting. But when you are well rested, just fight and have fun. 

The same is true of the mind. When the mind is caught up in the senses or thinks it is equal to the senses, there is constant conflict. But when the mind is smaller than the senses, as in animals, there is no conflict. 

And when the mind realizes that it is bigger than the senses, again there is no conflict. When the mind transcends the senses, it comes back to its true nature, which is innocence – “in no sense.” Does this make sense?

What it means to "love" someone

What is love? When love glows, it is bliss When it flows, it is compassion When it blows, it is anger. When it ferments, it is jealousy. When it is all ‘‘no’s,” it is hatred. When it acts, it is perfection. When love knows, it is me.

To love someone you do not like, means you have learned a lesson in life. 

To love someone who blames you for no reason shows that you have learned the art of living.

Seeing the one in many and the many in one

 

The intellect divides and synthesizes. Some creatures in the world synthesize and some divide. Ants only synthesize, they bring things together and build anthills. Monkeys cannot synthesize, they divide everything. You give them a garland and they tear it to pieces and throw it all over the place. A monkey can only divide or analyse. 

A beaver synthesizes, it brings wood together and builds a dam. Birds, such as weaver birds, also synthesize. But human beings have both abilities, they are capable of both analysis and synthesis. The intellect analyses to find the Truth. And Truth once found synthesizes everything into One. 

When the intellect becomes quiet, it brings out intelligence. Often people think that gathering information makes them intelligent. This is not so. It is samadhi that brings intelligence. An unintelligent person, though he may have all information, cannot be creative. An intelligent person, even without much information, can be creative. A sign of intelligence is to see the one in many and find the many in one. 

If you cannot see the divine in me, then open your eyes. If you see the divine in me, then you are a part of me and you cannot be away from me. If you feel a part of me, you can only see the divine in yourself. And when you see the divine in yourself, you will see the divine in everyone. 

Meditation is seeing God in yourself. Love is seeing God in the person next to you. Knowledge is seeing God everywhere. Expression of love is service. Expression of joy is a smile. Expression of peace is meditation. Expressing God is conscious action.

You only see the fall of water. You do not see how the ocean becomes the cloud. The ocean becoming the cloud is a secret, but the cloud becoming the ocean is obvious. In the world, only a few can notice your inner growth and height, but your outer expressions are apparent. Never brood that people do not understand you. They can only see your expression. 

Look at the water. Even the fall of water is beautiful. If a rock falls it shatters, but when water falls it generates power and beauty. Being somebody is like being a stone, being nobody is like being the water, being everybody is like being water vapour.

Why human birth is a privilege

 

Among all the planets in the solar system, the Earth is privileged to host life in so many forms and among all the species, humans are the most privileged for they can host the knowledge. Among all the knowledgeable ones, you are the most privileged, guess why? The underprivileged are those who do not realize that they are privileged. 

They also host, but they host all the negativities. Again and again, remember that you are peace, you are love, you are joy and that you are hosting the creator. Like birds returning to their nests again and again, come back to your source, only there can you realise that you host the divine. 

Awareness of the Self - I

 

It is the intellect that divides the world, and the same intellect can bring it together by soaking itself in divinity. When the intellect discusses mundane things, it starts dividing the existence. When the intellect discusses knowledge, wisdom and truth, then it starts uniting. It brings forth the transcendental. It rediscovers its true nature, which is non-dual. Whether you complain, compose a poem, or speak knowledge, you are a witness to the flow. 

When someone complains or justifies, they are simply saying things spontaneously. In the same way, when you speak knowledge of the self, or spontaneously compose a poem aloud, there is a flow from the intellect. Anything can flow from the intellect, and you are a witness to the flow, whether it is garbage or wisdom. All that you can do is pray to the Divine, ‘Let wisdom, divinity and truth flow through this intellect”.

There are 5 factors that influence the mind - place, time, food, past impressions, associations and actions. Every place you are in has a different impact on the mind. Even in your house you can see that you feel differently in different rooms. A place where there has been singing, chanting and meditation has a different influence on the mind. Suppose you like a particular place, you may find that a little later it will not be the same. Time is also a factor. Different times of the day and year have different influences on the mind. Different types of food that you eat influence your mind for several days. Past impressions, karma, have different impacts on the mind. 

Awareness, alertness, knowledge and meditation help erase past impressions. Associations and actions, or the people and events you are associated with also influence your mind. In certain company your mind behaves in one way and with others your mind behaves in a different way. Though these 5 factors influence your life and your mind, know that the Self is much more powerful. As you grow in knowledge, you will influence them all. 

Desire, action and awareness of the Self are all manifestations of the same energy that is you. Among these three, one dominates at any one time. When you have many desires, you are not aware of the self. When desire dominates, self-awareness will be at its lowest and that is why philosophers all around the world have advocated renunciation and dropping desires. When desire dominates, stress and sorrow result. When action dominates, restlessness and disease are the result. When awareness dominates, happiness dawns. When your desires and actions are sincerely directed to the divine or welfare of society, then consciousness is automatically elevated, and self-knowledge is sure to be attained. 

An example inspires and brings confidence in the application of knowledge, and the visible sign of it is an undying smile. The self knows neither sorrow nor death, yet in it flow all relative events. It is easy to be detached when you are not in love. Being in utter love and yet undisturbed, caring yet not worried, persistent yet not perturbed all are the obvious signs of the Self shining through. 

Ten people were walking on foot from one village to an other. On the way, they had to cross a river. Reaching the other shore, they wanted to be sure all had crossed safely. Each one started counting but counted only nine. They became distraught and began to cry for the loss of the tenth. A wise man came along and asked them, “Oh, my dear friends, why are you crying?”. We were ten but now we are only nine” they replied. The wise man saw they were ten, so he asked them to count. Each counted nine but left out himself. Then the wise man made them stand and count off, one by one, and he said to the last person, “You are the tenth”. And they all rejoiced for having regained the tenth.