We start communicating from the instant we take our first breath. Our first cry is a communication to our mother, and to the world, that we have arrived. And till our last breath, we are in constant communication.
Yet, good communication is much more than mere words. It is an art and effective communication has dimensions that are larger than what is spoken. The ability to communicate affectionately with one and all is a skill worth possessing.
Be Sensitive and Sensible
Communication is a dialogue not a monologue. We must respect the viewpoints of the person or persons we are communicating with. Communication is the art of being sensitive and sensible at the same time. Some people are too sensitive, thereby losing their sensibleness. Their speech lacks clarity and is inarticulate. And there are people who make perfect sense, but they are insensitive. They say the correct things, but they are not aware of the emotional response of the audience. We need that beautiful combination of sensitivity and sensibleness.
Your state of mind matters!
You cannot improve someone by getting angry at them. You only ruin your peace of mind. When you are angry nobody wants to hear you, even though you are saying the correct thing.
Your communication does not have the impact it ought to have had. Your mental state is heard by your listeners before the words. A calm state of mind, and a smile, will conquer the most difficult of people.
Humour coupled with care and concern
A good sense of humor relieves you from fear and anxiety. Humor is not just about words- reading and repeating jokes. It is the lightness of your being that brings out the authentic humor. And this lightness comes up with taking life itself not too seriously, having a sense of belongingness with everybody (including those who are not friendly), practicing yoga and meditation, having unshakable faith in the Divine, being in the company of those who live in knowledge and are humorous.
Heart to Heart Communication
Almost all relationships break down due to too much talking and explaining about oneself. “I am this way. Don’t mistake me. Don’t misunderstand me.” If you keep silent when required, everything will work out much better. Don’t explain things of the past, brood over them, or ask for explanations. When the heart speaks and the heart listens, harmony is produced.
Real Communication is beyond Words
All of us have experienced at one time or the other, an amazing phenomenon. Whether in one-to-one communication, or in addressing a huge audience, something intangible moves people more than the words. We try to rationalize by attributing this to charm, charisma, presence, body language, etc.
If you are firmly established in the zone of silence, if your mind is calm, you will find yourself suddenly being able to influence individuals, groups, and masses.
Be a good listener
The single most important skill in the art of good communication is the skill of listening. Listening not just to words, but also to feelings and expressions. Observe infants. They listen to expressions and gestures. Even without understanding words, they communicate with you. Somewhere in the journey of life, we have lost this ability. Let’s make an attempt to regain it.
This world is varied, beyond our imagination. We need to establish communication on three levels – communication with oneself, communication with society, and communication with nature. There is always something to share, learn, and teach.
We are made of both matter and spirit. Our body is made up of carbohydrates, amino acids, proteins, etc., but our consciousness or spirit is made of joy, energy, enthusiasm, peace, happiness and all these beautiful qualities. Anything that uplifts the spirit, anything that brings more happiness, love, joy, creativity, compassion and enthusiasm in life is spirituality.
Now, is there a good spirituality and a bad spirituality? I would like to ask you a question, is there a good doctor and a bad doctor? No! But some doctors do some bad things. So, in every field, there are some people who blemish that field. Similarly, if some people have brought a bad name to spirituality, it is not because of spirituality, but it is because of their individual greed.
For thousands of years, spirituality has been the guiding force behind humanity. Spirituality brings enthusiasm and energy to life.
Spirituality should always stand the test of science. If spirituality doesn’t stand the test of science, then it is not going to appeal to the people of this generation. So, we need spirituality which goes along with science. In the Orient, unlike the Occident, science and spirituality never came into conflict. Scientists were never prosecuted in the far East. Only in the West and in the Middle East and beyond that, scientists were prosecuted.
In the East, we say, first experience and then believe. But in the West, it says first you believe then one day in the future you will get the experience, which is not the mode of science.