Walking the path from intimacy to dispassion

 

When true intimacy, the feeling of wanting to love more, give more, gets turned around, then it says, “I have loved enough. What did I get in return? I have loved so much what did I get? I have not been cared for”. These demands will start. 

When you switch your direction, the struggle begins. True intimacy is recognising the flow of the current and joyfully floating with it. The current is there. You don’t have to stroke. You don’t have to move your hand and feet. It carries you and you float. Effortlessly. Taking everything for granted is true intimacy.

Observe your mind. What is happening in there? Constantly likes and dislikes. Wanting and not wanting, I want this, I don’t want this. Constant debate, fluctuation, cynicism, criticism, apathy, dejection. Do you see all these fluctuations? Are you aware of these things happening in the mind? For a while, throw off everything. Just sit. What is happening?

That is dispassion, centering. In true intimacy there is dispassion. Have you observed after laughing a lot and being very excited that excitement cannot be held in your mind? It feels awful. You want to throw off the excitement and just be quiet for a while. Have you had this experience? Wisdom dawns the day you recognise that joy is painful.

 

Your dispassion begins on that day when you notice joy is disturbing, exciting. You want to be a little quiet and calm. We have lost that sensitivity. That is why there is so much craving for joy, for something bigger”. Something must be better for me, something must give me more happiness”.

This is feverishness. We move from one feverishness to another. The pain of sorrow is feverishness. The pain of joy is feverishness. So you move from this feverishness to that feverishness and from that feverishness to this feverishness. It is a constant struggle.

Dispassion is that delicate balance that is beyond both joy and sorrow. In dispassion any great joy can come up and it will not shake you. That is enlightenment. Even if you are offered the heavens, you won’t move an inch from your seat. That is attainment. Dispassion is the secret. You can lean techniques and you can learn to meditate.

You can learn many things, but dispassion you cannot learn. It can only blossom in your life in time or with the presence of your teacher, your master. There is no other way dispassion can blossom. You cannot get in books. Only experience will teach you. The highest wisdom that can ever be achieved on this planet is dispassion. Anything can be shaken, but not dispassion.

Anything can be bought, but not dispassion. If you are dispassionate, if you are centered, nothing whatsoever can shake you. The only rich one is the one who is dispassionate. Otherwise you can be tempted, you can be shaken.

If someone offers you two million dollars and tells you, “Do this, do that” you will move from your position. But that person can’t move one who is dispassionate. Suppose someone comes and says to you, “You tell this lie and I’ll give you 2 million dollars”. Just imagine what you would do. Think of it. Your mind will put forward hundred and one justifications for whatever you will do.

 

You’ll say, “Okay, So what. I’ll say this and it may be for good and if I get two million dollars, I’ll use it for the benefit of the whole humankind. I don’t want it for myself, but I can do some good work for the whole world”. 

A prostitute was once asked by a priest to tell some lies about Kabir, the saint in India. She was a very conscientious woman and she wouldn’t speak a lie. They told her, “You do nothing. When Kabir gives satsang, you go to him and hug him. Say, “Oh, my dear, it have not met you in all these days’. You just say this”. So people tempted her and made her say this for 2 gold coins. When she did that, Kabir said, “Oh, I have been waiting for you. I have been here all the time. Where have you been?” Now this threw many people off their balance.

Kabir was a man who gave sermons, satsangs every night, so beautiful, so wonderful. The Brahma jnana knowledge was dawning on earth in a weaver, someone who was not literate, an innocent man. Many people left Kabir after this incident because their intimacy was just with the words, it was not true intimacy and had arisen because of passion.

Your passion is the cause of your rebellious mood and disinterestedness. The moment you become dispassionate, there is nothing but love. There is nothing but intimacy.

Dispassion and enthusiasm - anything but opposites

 

What is enthusiasm? Enthusiasm means to be connected to God within. When you are with your source, you can only be enthusiastic and you cannot be anything but enthusiastic when your mind is totally in the present moment. 

Apathy is when you are away from the source of life. You should know that dispassion is not apathy; it is simply a broader perspective of reality. Dispassion is moving towards the source. Dispassion simply means the way back home. It is the journey towards the source, which is a reservoir of enthusiasm.

When dispassion and enthusiasm co-exist, that is the secret of perennial enthusiasm and profound dispassion. Though they appear to be opposite, they are actually complementary.

Sanyas means what? “I am nothing and I want nothing,” or “I am everything and I have everything.” It is being either colorless or multicolored.

Do not misuse knowledge

 

Do not use dispassion to push away the fire of longing for the Divine or for satsang. There is a little fire in you that propels you toward knowledge, sadhana, devotion and service but sometimes you use knowledge to put out that fire.

So-called dispassionate people are often morose and unenthusiastic. Often you will hear people say, “Oh, never mind, God is everywhere, Guruji is in my heart, I can do satsang anywhere. My seva is my sadhana, so there is no need to meditate. Anyway I am doing sadhana twenty-four hours a day. When God wills, He will call me to satsang and Advanced Courses again.” 

Such excuses should not be justified as dispassion. When you want to do some service, the mind says, “Oh, it is all maya anyway; everything is an illusion. It is all just happening. Things will happen when the time comes.” In this way knowledge gets misused and is quoted out of context to suit one’s convenience or laziness. 

When you use knowledge like this you miss a lot. This is when dispassion is detrimental. In the name of dispassion do not lose that spark of enthusiasm and interest. Keep alive the fire of longing for the Divine and for service to society.

So you think there can be no glory in dispassion? You're wrong

 

It is often believed that glory and dispassion are contradictory and cannot co-exist. Glory and luxury without dispassion is a nauseating pomp and show. Such glory does not bring fulfillment for anyone; it is shallow.

Alternatively, the dispassion that is afraid of glory is weak. True dispassion is oblivious to glory. The glory that comes with dispassion is something that is true; it is permanent and authentic. When someone chases after glory, they are shallow. Movie stars, politicians and religious leaders who try to hold on to their status, to their glory, are certain to lose it. If you run after glory, all that you get is misery. 

When you are dispassionate, glory comes to you. If you are afraid of glory, that means you are not well grounded in dispassion. In India the sadhus (ascetics) run away from glory. They think they will lose their dispassion and get trapped in the web of the world, in the circus. Their dispassion is so blissful that they get attached to it. They are afraid of losing their dispassion, the centeredness and the bliss that comes with it. This is weak dispassion.

Dispassion is a state of being and glory is the happening around it. True dispassion can never be lost or overshadowed by glory. True dispassion is glorious. Real glory is true dispassion.

How a combination of passion and dispassion takes place

 

Passion makes you weak. Dispassion is strength.

For your passion to be fulfilled, you must depend upon so many things. Passion and self-reliance do not go together. If you are passionate, you need to forget about being self-reliant. If you want to be self-reliant, you must drop your passion.

Your spirit is what brings together these two completely different aspects in you. The same spirit that wants self-reliance is also passionate. It is only in spirituality that passion and dispassion can happen together. This combination is the rarest.

When you are dispassionate, you have strength, and strength is self-reliance. True self-reliance is realizing that nothing is excluded from the Self. And when you realize everything is part of the Self, then you can be passionate about everything.

To fulfill your passion, you need to rely only on the Self, for Self alone is non-changing. In truth, there is neither reliance nor passion. Usually, you are either passionate or self-reliant. But in an elevated state of consciousness, you can be neither, or both.

How to lose your dispassion

 

There are three types of dispassion. 

The first type is the dispassion that arises when you realize the misery in the world and you fear misery. The events in life – the pain and suffering you experience or see – bring dispassion. 

The second type of dispassion is born out of your desire to achieve something higher. Some consider dispassion as a path to enlightenment – by renouncing something here they hope to gain something out there. They engage in austerities and take vows to have a better place in heaven. 

The third type of dispassion comes from wisdom or knowledge. A broader understanding of the transient nature of things cultures a state of non-attachment to events, objects, people, or situations, and this lets you remain calm and unperturbed. 

Divine love does not let dispassion manifest. The attainment of love brings such bliss and such intoxication that it not only takes away your passion, but dispassion as well.

Effortless perfection

 

In a state of ignorance, imperfection is natural and perfection is an effort. In a state of wisdom or enlightenment, imperfection is an effort but perfection is a compulsion and is unavoidable. 

Perfection means taking total responsibility, and total responsibility means knowing that you are the only responsible person in the whole world. When you think that others are responsible, then your degree of responsibility diminishes. 

When you are in total vairagya – dispassion – you take care of even trivial and insignificant things with such perfection. For example, during every morning puja, decorates the puja table with such great care, choosing flowers in different color combinations and patterns every day, fully knowing that the decoration will not last even ten minutes! Attention to such a trivial thing with such keen awareness can only come through utter dispassion.

Perfection is the very nature of the enlightened one.

Relationship between joy and sorrow

 

The inability to experience joy and sorrow is inertia. Experiencing joy and sorrow is a trait of consciousness. 

Being happy in one’s own joy and sad in one’s own sorrow is a trait of animals. Being happy at another’s joy and saddened by another’s sorrow is a trait of humans. 

If you are saddened by another’s sorrow, then sorrow will never come to you. If you are happy at another’s joy, then joy will never leave you. 

Seeing that every relative joy is also a misery is a sign of dispassion. And seeing both joy and sorrow as just a technique is a sign of the wise. 

To consider sorrow mere illusion is divinity. Transcending joy and sorrow and being established in the Self is perfection.

As the late Swami Sharanananda said, “Pray for the strength to serve in joy and to sacrifice in sorrow.”

Don't go chasing angels

 

Infinity has diverse qualities and specific qualities assume names; they are called angels. Angels are simply rays of your big self. They are there to serve you when you are centered. Just as roots and stems come out of a seed as it sprouts, so angels manifest in your life when you are centered. 

Angels are like your extended arms. Just as all the colours are present in white sunlight, all the angels are present in your higher self. Bliss is their breath, dispassion is their abode. 

Angels rejoice in your company, but you have nothing to gain from them. They only come around those who have nothing to gain from them. 

Shiva is the bestower of dispassion. Shiva is the consciousness that is bliss, innocence and omnipresence. Krishna is the outer manifestation of Shiva. Shiva is the inner silence of Krishna.

Need to feel generous

 

Though many ask for blessings, but only a few will receive. The giver is always giving but the taker is not there - the sincerity is missing. One who gives blessings gives freely, but the one who receives has to be sincere. The qualification to receive blessings is sincerity. And everyone is free to be sincere at any time.

Why do people choose to be sincere only sometimes? Because of the illusion that they are going to miss some mundane pleasure. Hankering after pleasure makes them insincere. When you are sincere, you simply enjoy pleasure without craving for it. Sincerity is being in touch with your depth. 

When you feel you are stuck in life and not growing, or are bombarded by desires, when you feel dryness, no enthusiasm, no juice, what do you do? Here is the solution. Feel generous - right now, not tomorrow, but right now. Both a princess and a pauper can feel generous. Generosity is a quality of the spirit. When you feel generous, your life becomes abundant full of compassion and love.

Is generosity the same as gratitude? No. Gratitude always has self-concern. You are grateful because you have something or you get something. Generosity is independent of external circumstances. No one can make you feel generous. That is something that you have to do by yourself. Essentially generosity is not an act. It is a state of consciousness, but it always finds its expression in an act.

Passion, on the other hand, indicates scarcity. Dispassion is abundance. Dispassion without generosity makes you self centred and causes more dryness. Don't think about what you've done in the past, that only brings doership. Just feel generous. 

Benefits of dispassion

 

If your work is very stressful and you don't get enough time for the family, what should you do? Do you spend quality time with your family? Even if you spend half an hour, are you cordial and fully attentive to the needs of your family? It is not the length of time you spend with your family that matters. What matters is the quality of time that you spend with them.

Thinking you need rest makes you restless. 

Thinking you have to work hard makes you tired. 

Thinking you have worked hard brings self-pity.

Hide your dispassion and express your love. Expressing dispassion may bring ego. By expressing dispassion you lose enthusiasm in life and by not expressing love you feel stifled. Hide dispassion in your heart like the roots of a tree and express love like a ripe fruit. 

When you are in the grip of feverishness over the results of your actions, what should you do? Have faith and confidence that the results will be much better than you can ever imagine. With faith you can rid yourself of the feverishness of action and achievement. Feverishness can be a hangover from overactivity. Sleeping, listening to flute music and bathing in cold water can help. 

When you are doing something very important, take a moment to do something totally irrelevant and insignificant. For example, while decorating your house, take some time to mow the lawn or go shopping. Drop whatever you are doing and do something completely irrelevant. This enhances your creativity. 

Relevant action keeps you bound to the action. Irrelevant action makes life a game. Have dispassion. Know that the whole thing will be over one way or the other, and that it does not matter. Meditation and breathing can calm you down.

Dispassion can get you everything, including sleep

 

The Divine can be attained only in deep rest, not by doing. All your spiritual activities are to help you become silent. You will go further when you do not stop to enjoy the bliss or the peace, otherwise cravings may arise.

If existence wants to give you peace and bliss, then fine, your true nature is bliss. But by trying to enjoy the bliss, you step down from “am-ness” to “I am something” - “I am peaceful”, “I am blissful” this is followed by, “I am miserable”. It takes courage to simply say “I am”, period. That “I am” is dispassion. Dispassion means welcoming everything. You can be anywhere and be dispassionate. Dispassionate centeredness brings energy, a spark.

Indulgence in bliss brings inertia. If you are dispassionate, the bliss is still there. When the freezer is full of ice cream, you need not bother about it. Dispassion takes away the sense of scarcity. Passion is a sense of lack of abundance. Whenever everything is in abundance, dispassion happens. And when dispassion is there, everything comes in abundance.

What should you do when you catch yourself indulging in bliss? Just this understanding creates a shift. There is no effort. Knowledge is better than action to make you free. 

Activity and rest are two vital aspects of life. To find a balance in them is a skill in itself. Wisdom is knowing when to have rest, when to have activity, and how much of each to have. Finding them in each other, activity in rest and rest in activity, is the ultimate freedom.

More tiring than the work itself is the memory of hard work. Thinking you have worked hard interferes with the quality of rest. Some people take pride in working hard without any results. And there are others who crave for a long rest without knowing the true rest is in non-doership. 

It is the quality of rest, even if it is short, that helps you to recuperate. When rest is needed, your body will automatically take it. Resting, without thinking about the need for it, is more restful. Desirelessness, dispassion and samadhi are the deepest rest.

Overcoming hurdles raised by politics

 

Do not let politics sway you away from the path. If you are afraid of politics, you cannot be successful in the spiritual path. You have to cross the barricade of politics. It is a test of your strength, your commitment and your focus. 

You cannot avoid politics, whether to harbour politics in your mind is your choice. There was politics among the twelve apostles and also around Buddha. Krishna was in politics from head to toe. And you say you do not want politics? The greater your aversion, the more you will harbor it in your consciousness.

When you recognize politics in any group, it is a blessing for you to be centred and to go inward. You can do that without blaming the group, without running away from people, without giving up. It can enhance your skill to act while being unattached. 

There are many advantages to becoming involved in politics. Politics amplify the diversity in people. It confronts you with different viewpoints, approaches and tendencies. It enhances your skill to communicate and act. It brings centeredness and dispassion. It shakes you up and makes you apply the knowledge. It enhances your capacity to accept and tolerate. It makes you realise that all of life is a game. The strong will smile through the politics and the weak will lament. Cross the threshold of politics and come to the divine.

Transcending sorrow

 

The only thing you must remember is how fortunate you are. When you forget this, you become sad. Sorrow indicates your attachment to your negative qualities as well as your attachment to your positive qualities. Your negative qualities make you sad. And when you think you are so great, you start blaming others, this also makes you become sad. The purpose of sorrow is to bring you back to the Self. And the Self is all joy. But this realization is possible only through knowledge - through awareness.

Knowledge or awareness leads sorrow towards the Self. Without knowledge, the same sorrow multiplies and does not get completed. Knowledge completes sorrow. Only with the power of knowledge do you transcend sorrow. In this path you have everything. You have this beautiful knowledge that has all flavours - wisdom, laughter, seva, silence, singing, dancing humour, celebrating, yagnas, caring, complaints, problems, complications - and chaos to add colour. Life is so colourful. 

It is only through merit that you can have faith. When you lack faith, there can be no happiness in either the inner or the outer world. Happiness springs from faith. Happiness is forgetting the body consciousness. Pain or sorrow is holding on to body consciousness. When you are happy, you do not feel the body and when you are miserable, you have aches and pains.

Often in guided meditation, one's attention is taken to various parts of the body. For an arrow to go forward, it must be pulled back. In the same way when you take attention to the various parts of the body, that process frees you from body consciousness.

If you are unhappy, check if any of these are lacking - tapas or penance, vairagya or dispassion, sharanagati or surrender. Tapas is agreeing with the moment, a total acceptance of pleasant or unpleasant situations. Vairagya means “I want nothing” and “I am nothing”. Sharanagati is "I am here for you, for your joy”.

If you are grumbling, it is because these are lacking in your life. When you accept your situation you cannot grumble, when you take it as tapas you will not grumble. When you come from a state of dispassion - “I do not want anything”, you do not grumble, and if you are surrendered you will have no complaints.

If you do not do it willingly, you will do it later out of desperation. First you will say, “Nothing can be done”. Then in anger and desperation you will say, “I give up, I want nothing, I have no choice, to hell with it”. All three of these - penance, dispassion and surrender, purify your mind and uplift you in joy.

There is no problem that cannot be solved. When you have a problem that you think cannot be solved, you have accepted it. Then it is no longer a problem, it is a fact. Suppose you think it is a problem that the ocean in Norway is too cold. Obviously, you cannot heat the ocean. So it cannot be changed, you accept it, and it is no longer a problem. Only when you are searching for a solution is there a problem. Thus there is no problem that cannot be solved.

The moment you realise there is no solution, a problem ceases to be a problem. The solution is the tail of every problem. Solutions comes to you when you are calm and collected, when you use intelligence, when you are not lethargic but active, and when you have strong faith in divine law.

Life is eternal

 

Death brings you in touch with the reality of life. Death creates a vacuum, a void and this void is fertile ground for the spirit to manifest. All talents, inventions and creativity spring forth from the void, creation has a tendency to return to the void. All places of worship in all religions are connected with places of burial or cremation because only the awareness of death can bring dispassion and can ground you in knowledge.

According to Indian mythology, Shiva abides in both Mount Kailasa and in smashana. Kailasa means 'where there is only celebration' and smashana is the cremation ground - 'where there is only void'. Divinity dwells in the void as well as in celebration. In you there is void, in you there is celebration. 

The realisation that life is very short brings dynamism in your life. Unwanted things will fall off as well as distractions. When you have to act or put an effort, know that life is short. When you realize life is short, procrastination falls away. When you are expecting a result, know that life is eternal. The ignorant person does it the other way - he hurries for the result and is impatient and frustrated. 

Impatience goes away when you know that life is eternal. When you are looking for a return of a favour or a result from your good deed, you want it quickly. But when you know that there are many lifetimes, you realize that if you don’t get it sooner, you get it later.

Wake up and see your life is too short. Time is running out, so what are you doing with your life? Is it being useful to you and the world around you? Realise life is too short. Wake up and see life is eternal. When you want to enjoy the fruit of action, know that life is eternal. When it comes to hope, you should know that there are many lifetimes. 

When you are looking for results, know that time is eternal. If someone doesn't thank you or takes advantage of you, thank them because they will pay you back later with interest. No one needs to feel sorry that they are unappreciated or have been taken advantage of. Know that you will have to be paid back in the future with interest. 

When it comes to enjoying the fruit of your actions, good deeds or even blessings, know that life is eternal. Anytime that you are in a hurry, you cannot enjoy. So, know that life is eternal.

Fulfil your desires - by surrendering them

 

As long as some desires linger in your mind, you cannot be at total rest. Every desire or ambition is like a sand particle in the eye! You cannot shut your eyes nor keep them open with a sand particle inside — it is uncomfortable either way. Dispassion is removing this sand particle so you can open and shut your eyes freely! The other way is to expand your desire, or make it so big — then also it will not bother you. It is a tiny sand particle that irritates your eyes — a big rock can never get into your eyes!

If you have a desire coming into your mind right now, at this very moment what do you do? You work to fulfill that desire. After it gets fulfilled, do you know where you will be? It will lead you to the very same place where you were before the desire rose in you.

So let us understand, what is this quest all about. A teenage girl sees an expensive dress and immediately falls in love with it. But like all beautiful things, this one is too expensive for her to buy. She tries to convince her father to let her buy the dress and tries every possible way to make him understand that the dress is worth the price and maybe even more. The father refuses despite of everything. The young girl gets so upset that every party and function she goes to, she feels incomplete without the dress. Each time she sees the dress in the window sill of the showroom, her heart tugs from inside. After a lot of tears, bickering and ranting, the father finally gives in, and buys her the dress. The girl is delighted. She wears it to every possible party and function, but after two years, the same dress lies in a heap of clothes that are being discarded. So you see desire taking a life form and finally being turned into nothing.

How to deal with desires? Just do not give too much weight to the fulfilment of desires. Don’t fight it off. You have no control over them. Desires come up. Instead of holding on to them, or daydreaming, just surrender. What is surrender? It simply means that when a desire arises, just offer it to the divine or higher power and say: “If it is good for me, let it happen.” And then let go of it. When you offer everything, then nothing can take you away from your centre.

Life teaches you the art of letting go in every event. The more you have learnt to let go, the happier you are and as you start being joyful, more will be given to you. Taking a good look at desires and realising that they are futile, is maturity or discrimination.

But surrender doesn’t mean the absence of action. Don’t just make an affirmation and say “Okay, I shall have a good job” and let go of it and do nothing about it. You need to do whatever is necessary. Act, surrender and be free.

With dispassion, you can enjoy the world freely and relax. Dispassion can bring so much joy in your life. Do not think that dispassion is a state of apathy. Dispassion is full of enthusiasm — it brings all joy to your life and allows you to rest so well. 

Creating a happy world through peace

 

In a world marked by conflicts and a ballooning mental health crisis, one pressing question beckons: Is there a way out of this?

The post-pandemic world continues to fluctuate between extremes of aggression and societal violence on one end and depression and suicidal tendencies on the other. Mental health and loneliness have become silent epidemics with estimated one in every three individuals in the world suffering from anxiety or depression.

With nearly two mass shootings per day and classroom violence becoming commonplace in the U.S., it makes one wonder if we are regressing to a barbaric age. In today’s virtual world where more and more people seem to be operating in silos, there is an increasing feeling of mistrust and isolation.

How did we even get here? Let’s look at life through the lens of these three fundamental aspects: passion, dispassion and compassion.

Passion is essential to achieve anything worthwhile. Without it, one could feel lost, unenthusiastic or even depressed. On the other hand, unbridled passion can lead to anxiety, fear of uncertainty and even insomnia.

While passion propels one into action, dispassion allows one to relax. Certain amount of dispassion is essential in order to feel sane, safe and to have a sound sleep. It broadens one’s vision and allows one to look at life from a bigger context, acknowledging the fact that people and situations are constantly changing. When one embraces this sense of impermanence, the world appears like a transit lounge. Both, modern scientists and ancient sages concur that the world is illusory in nature. This awareness makes individuals pause and reconsider the priorities of their life.

The third aspect is compassion which defines humanness. In absence of which, life appears dry and meaningless. While compassion towards others is essential, compassion towards one’s own self is equally important. It also creates an environment where people feel heard and included thus mitigating the adverse impact of loneliness.

When these aspects go out of balance, it induces stress and societal discord. This is the primary cause of today’s mental health crisis. Unfortunately, neither at home nor in school have we ever learned how to manage stress and emotions. Popular interventions such as therapy and medication are cosmetic at best as they don’t seem to offer a long-lasting solution. This calls for a fundamental rethink.

Breathwork and meditation hold the key to eliminating stress and restoring balance in all aspects of life. 42 years ago, when I first started to travel across various countries, yoga and meditation were colored with prejudice. While the stigma around these practices is waning, there is still a long way to go.

Our breath has many secrets that have not been explored fully. Each emotion corresponds to a distinct breathing pattern. If emotions can impact how we breathe, the reverse is also true. From ancient times, people have been using breath as a way to relax and strengthen their minds. A strong mind can carry a weak body. However, a weak mind cannot even support a strong body.

Meditation helps individuals experience a rare state of outer dynamism and inner calm. It is no longer a luxury, but a modern-day necessity. Meditation and breathwork are not just cures but also preventive measures for maintaining mental and emotional well-being. Even if one person in a family is disturbed, it affects the entire family. Inner peace is key to the peace in family, society and eventually in the entire nation.

Wars originate as a conflict in the mind of an individual. Perceived threat from others, breakdown of communication and lack of trust fuel discord, resulting in loss of sensitivity and sensibility. Thus, it is all the more necessary for people in positions of power to have inner calm and peace. This enables them to think better and act more effectively for the greater good of our planet.

In global discussions, peace and security are always mentioned in the same breath. However very little attention is given to peace education. It will serve the planet in the long run if governments could spend a fraction of their security budget on peace education and mental health towards creating a happy world.

A violence-free society, quiver-free breath, stress-free mind, inhibition-free intellect, trauma-free memory, and a sorrow-free soul is the birthright of every individual. My vision is to see a happier society. Some may say it’s utopia but I’m confident that together we can make it a reality.

Keep having fun!

 

Have fun!

Take life lightly and seriously too. If you take life all serious, it is very boring. If you take it as all fun, it becomes frivolous, superficial.

You should have depth. Life should be silence and celebration, a combination of both.

Be dispassionate and totally passionate to bring transformation. Passion for transformation and dispassion for momentary pleasure – these two can make you a very, very deep person.

If you walk this path, you will have no dearth for anything, all will happen at the right time.

What it means to be natural

 

Being natural means accepting yourself, others and everything around you as it is. Not as a burden but with a sense of understanding that this is how it is. When you think or feel that this shouldn’t be like this or this should have been like that, then you come in touch with your boundaries – the boundaries of not being natural and comfortable.

Every time you are unhappy or miserable, you are just coming in touch with your own boundaries! Boundary is the real cause of your disturbance as it brings limitation. Have you observed that you are peaceful, happy and calm as long as you have not come in contact with your boundaries? The moment you come in contact with it, then the mind goes on a trip and you move out of your centre. 

At that moment when you move away from your centre, you can just be grateful and pray for peace within. Just turn the whole situation into a prayer. Pray that there be peace, not just in you but in everybody. That very moment you will start smiling. However hopeless the situation is, you will walk through it, sing through it, dance through it. This is love – this is natural.

Whenever a boundary is broken, it creates some fear. The fear creates dislike. This dislike puts you back in the boundary. And to keep yourselves in the boundary you put forth defenses. When you try to defend your position, it is such a stress. Every time you try to defend your position, it makes you more and weaker. Drop all your defenses. When you are totally defenseless, that’s when you’ll be strong.

Your knowledge of a mistake comes to you when you are innocent. Whatever mistake has happened, do not consider yourself a sinner because in the present moment you are again new, pure and clear. Mistakes of the past are past. When this knowledge comes, you are again perfect. Learn and unlearn from the past and move on with creative zeal and enthusiasm. The trying time brings out the best out of you. The rewarding time gives the best of the world to you. Life is a combination of both.

Often, mothers become angry and scold their children. Afterwards they feel so guilty. Anger is the cause of lack of awareness! Knowledge of the self, truth and skills can bring out the best in you. So, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, but not the same mistakes. You have got to be innovative even in your mistakes! Perfection is taking total responsibility, and total responsibility means knowing that you are the only responsible person in the whole world. When you think that others are responsible, then your degree of responsibility diminishes.

When you are in total vairagya (dispassion), you can take care of even insignificant things with such perfection. Perfection is the very nature of the enlightened one. When we are joyful, we don’t look for perfection. If you are looking for perfection then you are not at the source of joy. Joy is the realisation that there is no vacation from wisdom. The world appears imperfect on the surface but, underneath, all is perfect. Perfection hides; imperfection shows off.

Correcting others' mistakes

 

Mistakes keep happening all the time. Often you get irritated by them and want to correct them. How much can you correct? There are two situations when you correct other’s mistakes:

1. You correct someone’s mistake because it bothers you. But even if you correct it, this does not work.

2. You correct someone’s mistake, not because it bothers you, but for their sake so that they can grow.

To correct mistakes, you need authority and love. Authority and love seem to be contradictory, but in reality, they are not. Authority without love is stifling and does not work. Love without authority is shallow. A friend needs to have both authority and love but they need to be in the right combination. This can happen if you are totally dispassionate and centered.

When you allow room for mistakes, you can be both authoritative and sweet. That is how the Divine is, the right balance of both. Krishna, Jesus and all enlightened masters had both. People in love also exercise authority with those they love. Authority and love exist in all relationships.