(Get) out of control

Many people have a problem letting go of control, causing anxiety, restlessness and soured relationships.

Wake up and see – are you really ever in control? What do you control? Perhaps a tiny part of your waking state! You are not in control when you are sleeping or dreaming. 

You are not in control of the thoughts and emotions coming to you. You may choose to express them or not, but they come to you without your permission. 

Most of the functions of your body are not under your control. Do you think you are in control of all the events in your life, in the world, or in the universe? That is a joke! When you look at things from this angle, you need not be afraid of losing control, because you have none to lose.

Whether you realize it or not, only when you truly relax can you let go of your sense of control. Your identification with being somebody does not let you totally relax and it limits your domain.

True laughter in life

 

If you ever happen to meet God, do you know what you would tell him? “Oh, I have met you inside.” God will dance with you when the day dawns in laughter and love. True prayer is laughing in the morning. Don’t just be laughing outside but from deep inside. Laughter comes from the centre of our being, from the core of our heart. True laughter is true prayer.

When you laugh, the whole world laughs with you. It echoes and resounds and that is really the worth of life. When things go all right, everybody can laugh; but when everything falls apart, and then if you can laugh, that is evolution and growth. So, there is nothing in life that is more worthy than your laughter. Never lose it for anything, whatsoever. Events come and go. Some are a little pleasant, some are unpleasant; but there is some area deep in you that is left untouched. Hold on to that.

And anytime we don’t feel up to that untouched innocence, what do we do? You can attend to several layers of your own existence. First, the body – see if you have had good rest, proper food and some exercise. Then attend to the breath. Every mood of the mind has a definite rhythm in the breath. By attending to the rhythm in the breath, the mind and body can be elevated.

Observe the sensation and feeling in the body. Observing thoughts as thoughts, emotions as emotions, opens us to our true self, the godliness within us. The very observation changes it. When you do this, all that is negative falls away. 

The nature of positive emotions is to grow. If you observe your emotions (anger) when you are angry, anger will fall away. And if you observe if there is love, love grows.

That is the best and only way. Observe that thoughts come, and they pass. We need to be able to see things as they are, objectively or totally subjectively. That essence in life, when it blooms from within, allows true laughter in life.

Dealing with expectations through meditation

 

Meditation helps with uprooting the disturbance or disappointment caused by unfulfilled expectations. When you meditate without any attempt to control your mind, you will sooner or later arrive at the conviction that thoughts, feelings and body sensations are arising and disappearing all by themselves without any volition on your part. Your response to those phenomena is also not directly in your control.

For example, in meditation, on some days the mind will drift in a daydream for many minutes without you being aware, whereas other days, you are aware very soon that you are daydreaming. Sometimes, you may be annoyed by your thoughts, but on other days you spontaneously accept them or are even amused by them.

Meditation also helps us to ‘let go’ of expectations, by allowing the mind to rest more and more in the present moment. By opening the mind to being more aware through regular meditation, we become more and more fulfilled and calm in the moment. The mind gains the ability to spontaneously accept people and situations as they are. Consequently, regular meditation will, over time result in fewer expectations and less disturbance and disappointment over unfulfilled expectations.

Recognising the effect of expectations in life

Expectations are a part of life, expectations are natural. But, when they come up, you should simply become aware that by expecting, you are only reducing joy in your life. When you grow in wisdom, you will see that all these impressions drop of and give way to something bigger and something more beautiful. We simply need to know that surprises give us more joy. You give your 100 percent, do whatever you can, and if somebody expects more, it is their problem, not yours.

When people don’t live up to your expectations, you get frustrated, and you blame or curse them. By cursing, you lose your spiritual energy. When you bless, your energy goes up. Your own experience tells you time and time again that expectations reduce your enjoyment of life. Yet, most of us do not even realize; having too many expectations about everything, could be a reason for not being naturally happy. Expectation is just our imagination about how things might be. It prevents the mind from being fully with what is happening in the moment and thus, reduces the joy that is inherent in the present moment.

Clearly, expectations are not something we can or should avoid. They are just like all other thoughts; they arise and pass away on their own. Simply observing expectations with the knowledge that they reduce enjoyment in life is enough to avoid getting caught up into it. Unfulfilled expectations are a major source of disturbance. Many of us need an understanding of our mind and of life itself before we can let go of expectations. This understanding can be gained through wisdom and meditation.

Say, you are attending a group meditation session and a phone rings. Phones continue to ring several more times during the session. One possible response is that you let go of your expectation that people obey the instruction to turn their phones of and accept the ringing phones. Alternatively, you may be unable to accept and may feel that the phone owners are lacking in awareness and inconsiderate. Consequently, your mind will be simmering with irritation during your meditation.

Now, an equally loud noise could happen by dogs barking, rain, thunder or traffic. The reason you would not be annoyed about the noise generated by these phenomena is that you would accept them as part of nature, as spontaneous happenings. On the other hand, with the phones, you feel that the situation could have been avoided if people had behaved as they should. The feeling that the situation could have been different is at the core of your disturbance. Recognise that the problem is not in the situation but your reaction to it!

Make your anger expensive

 

Every sincere seeker wants to get rid of anger and reach a state of perfection, but is often swept by his or her emotions. What can you do when anger rises in you? You may remind yourself a hundred times that you shouldn’t get angry, but when it comes, you are unable to control it. Emotions are much more powerful than your thoughts and the promises you make.

Anger is a distortion of our true nature. We call it a distortion because it doesn’t allow the self to shine forth fully. And this is what sin is. Anger is a sin because when you are angry, you lose your centeredness; your focus is not on the infinite. You are limiting yourself to the small mind to an action which has happened. Sin is just the wrinkle in the cloth. It needs proper ironing. Anger is a sign of weakness and a weak person can get angry very fast.

Often anger comes because you don’t accept the present moment and get stuck in the past. Have you ever observed that all your anger is about something which has already happened. Is it of any use getting angry about something which has passed and you cannot alter? No, it is meaningless. Anger comes when one seeks too much of perfection; that is why you are angry at imperfections. Keep a space of imperfections in your life. If you leave some holes of imperfection, then you will see that your ability to hold anger becomes much greater.

The cause of anger is the lack of total knowledge of what is happening inside that person. Even when someone commits a mistake, know that he or she is not the culprit; the stress inside is causing him or her to make that mistake. Showing anger itself is not wrong, but being unaware of your anger hurts you. There is a place for showing anger, but when you get angry without awareness, what happens to you? You are shaken completely. Look at the consequences of getting angry.

Spiritual practices help you maintain your centeredness and not be shaken by small events. This is where a little knowledge about us, about our mind, our consciousness, and the root of distortion in our nature will help. Our breath has a great lesson to teach us, which we have forgotten. Breathing techniques and meditation are very effective in calming the mind.

Usually, you give your anger freely and your smile rarely as though a smile is expensive. In ignorance, anger is cheap and a smile is costly. In knowledge, a smile is free like the sunshine and air while anger is extremely expensive, like a diamond. Make your smile cheaper and anger expensive.

Mind-space

 

The mind is like space. Thoughts come and go. Emotions come and go. When you go beyond them, there’s only space. That’s our true nature. 

When we identify ourselves too much with thoughts, with feelings and emotions, that’s when we feel stuck, we feel small. But the real, magnanimous You is that space inside where you feel totally at peace. 

Those moments when you are totally at peace, or fully in love, you feel an expansion right? You feel boundless, you feel limitless. That is our true nature. That is what beauty is! We are all one in that. There is no two!

Letting go of the sense of control

 

Many have a problem with letting go of control. This causes anxiety, restlessness and soured relationships.

Wake up and see, are you really in control? What are you in control of? Perhaps a tiny part of your waking state! Isn’t that so?

You are not in control when you are sleeping or dreaming. You are not in control of the thoughts and emotions coming up in you. You may choose to express it or not, but they come to you without your prior permission! Most of the functions of your body are not in your control.

If you think you are in control of all the events in your life, in the world or in the universe, that is a joke! When you look at things from this angle you need not be afraid of losing control, because you have none!

Whether you realise it or not, when you let go of your sense of control, that is when you truly relax. Your identification of being somebody does not let you totally relax and keeps your domain limited.

Surrendering the storm of emotions

Every emotion has a definite sensation in the body. Many a times, we get carried away by thoughts, or feelings and we do not observe the sensations. One should learn how to handle one’s self. We make so many affirmations: “Oh! I will not do this. I will do this.” But, when the storm of emotion rises in us, we find ourselves lost. There is a strange relationship between thoughts and feelings. Thoughts provoke feelings, and feelings, in turn, can bring about some thoughts.

Feeling is subtler than thinking. You cannot have the same feeling all the time, feelings change. When we feel high, we have no problems. The problem comes when we feel low. When one feels low, then the more one tries to feel high, the more the low feelings persist. When you feel low, jump into the lowest. Be like water. The nature of water is humility. It always goes down. Water means acceptance with motion, with dynamism, with readiness to jump up.

The ocean is the lowest. How has the ocean become an ocean? It has accepted the lowest. All rivers from the mountain flow down to the ocean. The ocean is full. The humblest is the greatest. Have you ever loved your low feelings? You have always fought with them. Just close your eyes and go into that low. Do not do any action but just agree. How far will you go down? You will find the ocean there. You will start rising up in no time. Depression and low feelings cannot touch you.

However big the clouds are, they cannot overshadow the sun. It could be the darkest day, but still it will remain day, and those clouds can never make it night. Just go deep, observe and you will see a lot of sensations rising up. Some fears come up. Fear is just a sensation in the body. Agree with it. An amazing thing happens within you. If you try to fight with your feelings, they take a longer time to clear.

There is only one way, “let go” or “surrender”. Surrender means that which you cannot handle, keep it on a plate and offer it. You cannot handle your own feelings, you cannot handle your own thoughts, your own confusion. When we are aware of our confusion, we offer it. That is what is called surrender.

This post is dedicated to the memory of sr. AOL teacher, (late) Sh. Pankaj Suresh Mirgh (1st July 1971 - 28th September 2021).

Navigating turbulent times with wisdom

It was in turbulent times that the Bhagwad Gita came up…and we are still taking advantage of it! Isn’t it so? It was in the war field that Krishna started teaching Arjuna. He didn’t teach him, when everything was all right, nor was Arjuna ready to listen to anything, for he thought Krishna was just his friend. 

But when turbulent times came, knowledge and wisdom became essential, for that’s when it becomes necessary to have calmness, steadiness and the clarity of mind to perceive things the way they are and to act wisely. 

How to handle turbulent times?

First of all, we must recognise that it is a turbulent time and then, accept it. When we deny a turbulent time, we live in a utopia, and we are then unable to find a solution. So first is recognising, and second is accepting. The moment we accept that this time is turbulent, or that this situation is bad, then our emotions calm down. We don’t question, “Why is it turbulent?” Questioning the happening which is happening is of no use! It is like a post-mortem! It doesn’t help the situation in the present moment. So, accepting that this is so, brings calmness, brings steadiness in the mind. 

When the emotions are calm, you are able to think better because the same energy in us either functions as an emotion or as a thought process. So, if we exhaust our energy through emotions – in getting upset over turbulent times – we are unable to make use of that time for creative thinking and for finding a solution to the problem. So acceptance is the second thing. 

Once you accept, it cannot be passive acceptance: “Okay, let it happen. Leave it to God.” This type of passive acceptance will not work! You need action! You need clarity of mind, sharpness, presence of mind and creativity. What change do you want to make? How do you want to make good use of the situation?

In the Bhagwad Gita, we see the same situation. At first, Arjuna did not accept the situation. He sat on the floor and trembled. The super-hero, who had never cried in his life, wept in front of Krishna, saying, “No! I cannot!” So Krishna said, “Come on! Drop this weakness from your heart! Drop this emotional garbage you are carrying! Get up!” Krishna boosted Arjuna’s ego, saying, “You have the capacity to handle this situation. Come on, get up! What will people say about you?” 

Teenagers, youngsters, kids, when they fall, they start crying. But the moment you give them that confidence – “You know, you are Superman! Nothing has happened to you!” – they stop crying; that inner strength comes up. If you keep telling them, “Oh! You are useless! You are good for nothing!”, then that energy, that inner capacity, will not find expression. So we need to boost their self-esteem. 

What we lack today is self-confidence. If you don’t want someone to be creative, just take the self-esteem out of him (or her). He (or she) will become like a vegetable! Self-confidence, self-esteem, is something that brings creativity in turbulent times. Now, how does one bring about that self-confidence? Through simplicity! 

I will quote you an instance: A gentleman from England, a horticulture specialist, came to our ashram in Bangalore. He said, “Guruji, I am going to make a flower garden!” He brought various different seeds and saplings, many pots, and all the manure required. He spent a lot of money, and he worked sincerely, but even after 3-4 months, hardly any plants came up. A villager from Kanakapura took some of those seeds, just “threw” them on the ground, and wonderful flowers came up very soon! In his anxiety, the specialist had put more fertilizer and more water than were actually needed. So the seeds, the soil, the situation, the environment became such that the flowers did not take root. But the simple villager, who was neither a gardener nor a specialist, could make those flowers blossom! 

Be ready to learn from simple things, from simple people – even from a child. The readiness to learn can bring up creativity and self-confidence in you. In turbulent times, the mind should not be turbulent. The time can be turbulent, but if mind is turbulent, it’s a big disadvantage. 

As the Bhagawad Gita says, this world is anithya (full of change). Everything in this world is changing. Don’t think that joy is here, in the object, in the substance, in the situation, or in the time. You are joy! Having attained this, go ahead, work, act. “Yoga” means skill in action. When everything is smooth, there is no need for skills, is there? When do you need skills? When things are not the way you want them to be, when things are not so pleasant. 

Finally, there is intuitive awareness, antargyan. If you lack intuition, you can’t be really successful. Intuition is not just dry thinking. It’s a combination of gut feeling, emotion and intellect. A little bit of music and logic are needed. When the balance happens in our lives, then we are able to develop our intuitive awareness. And, smile more! 

When you smile more, you will see that intuitive awareness, creativity, compassion, and the sense of belonging, all these virtues that you hold dear just come along.

How can one control ones emotions?

You can’t control emotions by thought; you can invoke emotions by thought. Only by being more aware, emotions settle down. Thoughts, emotions, and awareness; the more subtle and more basic level of consciousness. 

That happens and there is no 'how' to it; it just happens. Pranayama, meditation, listening to knowledge, all of this indirectly helps.

Usually the example would be, when you want to get the mango from the tree which is so high you hit the branch, you don’t hit the mango directly. Then you will not get the mango, you will only get juice on your head. You throw the stone in such a way the stone doesn’t land up on your head or on the mango but the mango lands in your hands. So you throw the stone at the branch and the mango falls. In the same way, all the techniques, everything we do is an indirect way to invoke consciousness. Got it?!

Why do I get too many thoughts during meditation?

Reasons for too many thoughts could be several. One is lack of enough circulation in the system. Do some vigorous exercise, run, go to gym, do any exercise. Then there is that little exhaustion, not too much. Less than half of your energy is spent on exercise then mind becomes calm. 

Second, when your pitta is very high then also there are too many thoughts. So to lower the pitta, take triphala. Or many others drink the amla (gooseberry) drink and all this. Talk to an Ayurvedic physician and consult them to reduce pitta, that is the second thing.

Third, lack of prana, so pranayama will help.


Fourth thing is if your bowel movements are not okay then also too many thoughts will come in the head. So for bowel movements to be good take some triphala, some purgatives. It’s good to cleanse your system, your intestines. Then also your mind becomes much clearer, okay?


So these many ways are there. And even then if it happens, then put on a meditation CD and sit. If you feel it is easier to meditate with a CD on, then do that, it calms the mind. And then from time-to-time participate in advance courses. Silence course will definitely help.

Three types of space

Today I want to tell you about three type of space. One is the external space, in which all the five elements are there. Then there is the second type of space that is inner space, where thoughts come and emotions come. That’s inner space. When you close your eyes, what do you feel? That is inner space. And then there is the third space. That is the space of energy where there is no thought, no emotion but you just feel energy. In deep meditation you experience that, isn’t it? Or after kriya you experience that space, there are no thoughts, nothing but space.

The three types of space exist. One is called the bhut akash the outer space, second is chit akash the space where thoughts and emotions all these come and third, chid akash, space of consciousness. Consciousness itself is another space deep within us. These are the three type of space.

So we seldom understand; pay attention to these three different spaces. Whenever you are frustrated what do you say? ‘Give me some space.’ That is it, ‘I want my space. I want to be by myself.’ It’s very important. All inventions come from these three types of space. In the chid akash, in the consciousness it’s already there.

All knowledge there comes to chit akash through thoughts and emotions. Songs come as emotions, science comes as thoughts and ideas and then they get manifest in the outer. Meditation is recognizing these three spaces. So that’s why sometimes you sit and watch the vast space, put your attention there so the mind also becomes blank.

For how many of you it has happened? On a nice day cloudless sky, when there are no clouds, just bright stars are there. Just lie down and just keep gazing at the sky. When you gaze at the sky what happens? That space gets created inside too. A sort of emptiness and you get into a meditative state. So, all the thoughts, ideas, everything we do remains in this space. Maybe in the future sometime someone will come with the device to try to tap the akashic record. You can find out what happened in 2010, 2011. What knowledge came, where and who was thinking what all that can be recorded sometime in the future because time has inscription of all ideas.

See, in a cell phone you send a message, how does it go and reach another cell phone? So far away and exactly the same words and the same fonts get printed there. From the time you press the button here to send, it reaching there, how did it travel? In space! So the space in which all your telephonic conversations travel, all the messages travel, was recognized some thousands of years ago.

So the nature of space is knowledge and sound. ‘Shabda gunaka mahakaasha’, a Sanskrit saying; nature of light is sight, sight is connected with light; sound is connected with space, taste is connected with water and touch is connected with air. You know when you have to feel the touch, air has to be present. Inside water you do not feel the touch, have you noticed it? It’s different. Inside water you can’t feel it soft or hard, you can’t feel it. Rather whatever is the temperature of the water you can feel. Touch is related to the air element, and sound is related to space. So in the space everything is there. Like objects you’re thinking is there in the space. Sometimes you go to a place and you get thoughts and you wonder, ‘oh why did I get these types of thoughts’, do you see what I am saying?

Developing Intuitive Abilities

You can develop your intuition through regular meditation.

When the mind is free of cravings, aversions and distortions, then it settles and becomes sharper. That is when intuition develops. But if your mind is constantly stuck in desires about something or another, then it does not happen. When your mind settles and becomes still, then these abilities develop in you.

Just today I remembered that towards the end of August 2011, I had said that Anna Hazare and Arvind Kejriwal will not stay together (in the fight against corruption in India), and they will soon part ways.


In those days when the anti-corruption movement had just begun, no one had even imagined that they would ever part ways. But I felt that they would not stick together for too long.


The Guru (Anna Hazare) and the disciple (Arvind Kejriwal) soon parted ways. Whoever heard me did not believe even for one moment that it could be true. There seemed no possibility of it coming true at all. And just look at the state of affairs today.
One is heading North and the other is headed down South of India.

So, when we are still and quiet, whatever thoughts come in our mind become true and manifest. Everyone has experienced this at some time or another in their life. When you do not desire anything and repose within your Self, then this power simply dawns within you.

Now not desiring anything does not mean you should not wish for everyone’s well-being. No, this you can surely wish and pray for. You should wish and pray for the progress and well-being of everyone around you. This deep desire is equal to having no desire at all.

Meaning of Sankhya Yoga

Sankhya Yoga is to wake up and see that all this does not exist.

There is only One, and everything works through that. See that even thoughts are nothing, everything is just vibrations.


Sankhya Yoga means the soul is eternal. Knowing that there is an element in me, which does not perish, diminish, or age.

Relax knowing that I am not the body. Just knowing this, and relaxing within the Self is called Sankhya Yoga.

Intellectual vs. Emotional

There are two types of people in the world:

One type are called bhaav-pradhan: They are those who are driven purely by their feelings (meaning those who give great importance to their feelings).

The second type is called gyaan-pradhan: They are those who are driven by fact and logic, and act on the basis of knowledge, i.e. those who go by facts and knowledge and base their actions on reason and knowledge.

Some people’s feelings are very strong, and they are very emotional about everything around them. On the other hand, some people are natural thinkers. They think, weigh the pros and cons of everything and then act in a particular situation. Both of these (feelings and knowledge) are very important aspects of a person’s life, and both are necessary.

If you only rely on your feelings and not knowledge, you soon get misled and get carried away by them. On the other hand, if you only think and act without any regard to your feelings, then your life loses enthusiasm and becomes so dry. There is no juice left in your life then.

So you have to nurture both the head (the seat of logic, intellect and knowledge) and the heart (the centre of feelings and emotions). You have to combine them together to move ahead in life. This is how you can bring fullness to your life.

The main point to attend to is this: some people rely more heavily on the intellect and logic, while some are driven more strongly by their feelings and emotions. If you approach people who are driven by their feelings, and speak to them about surrendering and love; all this will appeal to them very greatly.

But if you go to a scientist, i.e. an intellectual, driven by fact and logic, and talk to him about love, surrender, etc., he will not be able to understand. He will say that there is some emotional or chemical imbalance in your mind! The scientist will say that your endocrine glands are over-active and secreting too many endomorphine hormones.

So people like this are driven purely by knowledge and intellect, rather than feelings. They perceive everything through the lens of knowledge. Yet even they are essentially devoted to the same Tattva, the one pure Consciousness.

A scientist will tell you that everything in this world is made up of one thing only. It is all composed of one and only one element, or principle. It is that same one principle that has manifest into so many diverse forms in creation.

To understand this, we can take the simple example of a banana. Do you know how many varieties of bananas exist in the world today? In South India, you even get red bananas. Have you ever seen a red banana? Then we also have green bananas which are small in size. They are called elaichi bananas. Now, they are essentially all bananas only. But each has a different size, color and flavour. 

The same goes for apples as well. You can find so much varieties in apples. There are yellow apples, green apples, red apples, etc. The apples you find in Shimla are so different from the ones you find in Kashmir.

So you can see so much diversity in flowers, fruits and vegetables around you. The same is the case with human beings also. There are so many different kinds of people. No two persons are alike. Every person is unique and different from the other, and they have different behaviours, feelings and emotions. In the same way, they all possess different kinds of knowledge and different thoughts also.

Lord Krishna says, 'Jnana-yajnena cha-apy anye yajanto mam upasate. Ekatvena prthaktvena bahudha visvato-mukham'. (Bhagvad Gita, 9:15)

Everything you see around you is a play of diversity of this one Consciousness only. This you should know and believe firmly. You should honor this diversity. You can prepare so many kinds of dishes from the same flour. From the same flour, you can make bread, naan (a special type of Indian bread), samosa (an Indian savory snack) and also halwa (a common Indian sweet preparation).

In the same way, there is only one God whom different people worship in different ways. There is only one Truth, and one Divinity; it is only the ways of worship that are different among different people. Now if we start expecting that everyone should behave and work like us, then that would be very wrong.

You know, there is so much terrorism in the world today because some people think, ‘Everyone should follow my way; everyone should work and behave like me. What I say and do is right, everything else is wrong’. People who say this are the ones who spread fear and terrorism in the world today. And they do this out of ignorance. This is why we need a Gyaan Yajna today, i.e. to spread knowledge to more and more people and dispel ignorance and negativity.

What Is Surrender and How to Surrender?

A desire comes into your heart. You don’t know where it comes from, but it comes. And unless and until it gets completed, you are restless. Isn’t this your experience?

What to do then? A desire has already arisen – it may be a silly desire; sometimes, the desire makes no sense. And sometimes, it makes all the sense. But when these desires come to the mind, you are stuck with them. Whether you are sitting, walking, eating, or sleeping, you carry this desire in your heart all the time.

In the beginning, the desire brings a hope, so there is some enthusiasm, some joy, and an expectation. But a little later, that becomes restlessness. And even later, the same thing ferments and becomes pain. At this point, you want to drop it, but you don’t know how to drop it. You read all the philosophical books… this and that, you meditate, and do all the gymnastics and still it doesn’t leave. Even after experiencing pain, it still doesn’t leave, and this is the worst part.

You know that this desire is painful, but you can’t get away from it, and you want to get away from it. Doesn’t this happen? Does this ring a bell? Does what I am saying make sense? Many of you have had this experience!

Here, you forget that there is a loving presence that cares for you, which takes total care of you, like a mother would take care of a baby. Like that, the presence, or consciousness, or a supreme power—call it whatever you like—this consciousness is fully aware and is taking care, like a mid-wife would do at the time of birth. A mid-wife is there, standing and seeing the pain of the mother, helping her in the birthing process. In the same way, a presence is there, and it wants you to learn something.

What is that something? There is a presence – the presence is caring for you, don’t worry. Offer this desire to the Divine. Challenge the Divine – why did you give me this desire in the first place? It is better you take care of it. At that very moment, that pain, or restlessness, or desire transforms into an infinite state of clear awareness, or love. Immense love wells up in you – this is called surrender.

Surrender happens spontaneously with the knowledge that you are not in control of anything – not even your thoughts or feelings. You cannot do anything about the thoughts and feeling that come to you. When you realize that you are not in control of your life, but life is governed by some supreme law, then surrender happens.

It is unwise to think that the little mind can do everything in life, or is in control of life. Surrender is a realization that your effort cannot bring forth all that you want in life. The big or great cannot be had by the effort of the small mind. Otherwise it is not great or big. When do you call something a gift? When it is so great that it is beyond your effort.

When you are relaxed, you are in a state of surrender. When you are grateful for all that you have been given in life, then you are in a state of surrender. When you are totally helpless, and you realize your helplessness, then you are in a state of surrender.
You can experience this very well in third-world countries, where things don’t work too well. You don’t know when the electricity will come and when it will go away. You are not sure about water, electricity, buses or trains, or anything. All is left to God.

What I mean is, the more organized your life is, the more of a false idea comes to your mind that you are in control. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take care of things. Take care of things, organize yourself, but at the same time know that you are not in control of anything. Then surrender has happened. And that surrender is unparalleled in this world. It has so much power.

We think surrender is a sign of weakness, when in fact it is a sign of strength. We think surrender means defeat! You know, a person who is being defeated can never surrender, because he appears to be submissive but then he is waiting to lift his hood back up. Surrender comes with knowledge, with realization, and with gratefulness.

Tonight, when you sleep, feel that you have dropped everything and given everything to the Divine – your body, your mind, your breath, your thoughts, your feelings, your environment, everything is offered to the Divine and you have nothing now. Have nothing and be nothing. That is bliss.

If you take this one step, I have nothing, and I am nothing, then you will be the happiest person on this planet, and everything will come to you.

True surrender

Is it okay to surrender to a Guru but pray to Jesus at the same time? Is it like sitting on two chairs at the same time?

No, don’t worry. Actually, this word surrender should be removed from the dictionary, it has been so misused and misunderstood. You just relax, that is good enough. Relax with this knowledge and faith that you are being taken care of! It is this most relaxed and happy state that is called surrender. 

Otherwise we try so hard to surrender; whom to surrender to, where to surrender? And what is it that you need to surrender? You don’t surrender your good qualities, do you? That is what you are, so you don’t need to surrender them. You need to give up or surrender what you don’t need, and what are they? Negative qualities, negative tendencies and negative thoughts, which you don’t want to have! And if that is what you call surrender, then that is good! Do it every day, as much as you can! But then also, wake up and see; neither the positive nor the negative qualities are yours! They just come and go!

You don’t hold on to a car passing by your house and say, “I’m going to push this car, it is mine!” Similarly, thoughts are like cars on the street, they don’t belong to you, they are just moving on their own, and they go away. If you say, “Okay, I am surrendering this car, the next truck”; if that’s your way of having fun, you can have fun.

Nature knows that these thoughts are not yours. When you are saying that I am surrendering this car, nature is having fun. The Universe has a lot of fun with people who are trying to surrender. Just relax!

You have the most beautiful knowledge here, and there is no conflict either. Everybody is one there; Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, they all have a good pact with each other. Just like the Euro can work in France, Italy, Germany and Greece, so also, there is a good pact between these master; whichever form or whatever name you see, it all goes to the same source.

What is Freedom? What Does It Mean to be Truly Free?

It is a natural tendency of every human being to want to be free. Freedom is not luxury, it is a necessity. Not just human beings, but even animals want freedom.

Babies want freedom. If you tie a scarf on the neck of a baby, it just wants to remove it. You put a chain on a baby’s neck and the baby will want to pull it out. It is the adults who put jewelry around their neck, but children want freedom, they don’t want any restriction. That is why they throw their hands up and down… free!

Wanting freedom is innate to human beings as well as animals. Every living being wants freedom, and liberation or moksha is nothing but freedom.

Freedom is a natural desire in every human being but when the mind gets so muddled up in unnecessary day to day things, it forgets that it wants freedom. It is as good as someone who wants to sleep but has forgotten how to sleep.

Freedom is not running away from situations and circumstance. Sometimes a situation is stifling or unpleasant, and we run away from it and think this is what freedom is, but that is not so. Freedom means:

• Being unfazed by circumstances, situations and the people around you
• Being free from your own emotional garbage
• Being free from the jungle of your thoughts that bother you
• Being free from all the entanglement that you harbor in your head
• Being free from fear and anxiety

Anything that stifles you and makes you feel small, being free from that, is what freedom is.

How does one move towards freedom?

• Let go of cravings and aversions

Whether you accept it or not, watch it or not, life is an act of letting go. It started the moment you were born. You let go of the womb and came into this world. As soon as you came here, you started breathing in and breathing out and you are taking food in and letting it out. It is a constant exchange. You cannot hold on to anything here.

As a child you were holding onto many toys, and as you grew up, you let go of all those toys. Are you still holding on to your little toys and bells? No! As you grow older, you obviously let go of many things. Similarly, let go of cravings and aversion. When you feel free from all the cravings and aversions, that is freedom. 

• Meditate

Meditation is food for the soul, it nurtures the core of your existence. It keeps you physically fit, healthy and mentally focused. Intellectually, it brings you sharpness, keenness of attention, awareness and observation. Emotionally, you feel lighter, softer and purer and you feel able to let go of the past garbage. It creates positive vibrations around you, influencing your behaviour with others, and others behaviour towards you. There is nothing better than meditation to bring calmness to the mind!

• Reduce your wants

If you want freedom, your wants should be minimum. Minimum wants will give you more freedom. If the wants are too many, they go on and on and on.

Now, when the wants arise in you, what do you do? You can't keep on wanting things. This is where wisdom comes to help. See life with a bigger context.

• Develop a sense of contentment

When the mind is not stuck in desires of either respect, money, position, and the mind goes beyond these things, then you can say you are free.

Before you let go of the body, if a point comes when you are so fulfilled, and you are ready to let go of everything – that is the infinite freedom that you experience.

You need not even physically let go of things. It may not be possible practically to let go of everything but at least in the mind if you let go of everything, you will find there is enormous freedom, and lots of happiness and connectivity towards everything will come.

• Have Faith 

One very important thing we need is the faith that only the right thing will happen! There is a great power in the universe that has maintained this universe from billions of years. Have faith in that power. It will take care.

Truth and Lies

What is a lie? Something which keeps changing is called a lie. If you said something yesterday, and today you say something else, then that is called a lie.

Now what is truth? Truth is that which is unaffected by time. Something which remains constant and unchanging through the three phases of time (past, present and future) is what is truth.

If you look around and see, everything is changing. The way you were yesterday, or ten years back, you are not the same today. In a year’s time, every cell in our body changes.

So, when I say ‘Everything is a lie’, it means everything is changing.

Now, when you understand that everything is changing, then there must be some reference point which doesn't change, through which you can know that everything is changing. And what is that reference point? That reference point is you.

If everything in you changes, then how can you say ‘I have changed’? If everything in you changes then you have become another person itself. So, you need some reference point for change to be observed, otherwise you can't even know change. There is something in you that is not changing, but what is this that is not changing is not very clear.

We usually say, ‘I went to this school 20 years back’, or, ‘I did this job 25 years back’, but who was that person? Even if you look at a picture of you taken around 20 years back, you will not find much resemblance. Your body, mind, intellect, thoughts, feelings, everything has changed. But certainly, there is something which has not changed because of which you can notice this change.

That is why I say, first identify the changes that are happening within you. Once you identify these changes, then slowly you will be able to identify that what is not changing. And once you identify that which is not changing, then you will realize ‘This is what I am, this is what I have been searching for.’

One day death is going to rob you of everything

Germany , 28 December 2011


Q: Dear Guruji, a lot of times I have hurt myself because of lack of knowledge. I have not improved much but at least I see what I have done. How do I stop torturing myself?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: When you know what you did in the past was not correct, then you already know what you should do. Spiritual path gives you the empowerment.
But if you say, ‘Oh! I can’t do that’, then you can’t do it.
If you put this thought, ’yes, I can!’, then you can.
I have heard people say, ’I can’t leave smoking.’ If you can’t leave smoking then nobody in the world can make you leave smoking. You should get up and say, ‘yes, I will leave smoking.’
Nature has kept that will power in every human being who can think and who can act. It is present in everybody. It is like you shutting your eyes and saying, ‘I can’t see, I can’t see.’
You first open your eyes!
You say, ‘I can’t open my eyes.’ If you can’t open your eyes or don’t open your eyes, how will you see?
If you say, ‘I am hungry but I won’t open my mouth.’ Nature has given you a mouth and it is hollow and empty, and nature has given you food. You have to connect these two things.
Food is in front of you and you say, ‘I won’t open my mouth.’ Even to say that you have to open your mouth.
So, the will power is in everyone. You have to say, ’Yes I can do it; I am going to do it.’
If you are in the bad habit of smoking say, ‘Yes, I am going to leave it. I can do it.’ Because that one thought, ’I can’t leave smoking’, is giving you power to keep smoking.

Q: Dear Guruji, I feel surprised when I see some people go back to fighting and blaming each other after coming out from an advanced course session. Why does it happen? Why does the message not go beyond, even after a course sometimes?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Now see, a long habit of fighting, and enjoying the fighting, takes a longer time to go.
There are a small percentage of people whose behavior cannot be changed overnight, or cannot be changed even in weeks or months. It would take them a while provided they also have the willingness to change.
So, don’t judge people, ‘Oh! They came and did the silence program, they did the advanced course and still they have not changed!’ This is impossible, definitely they have changed, but it may not have come totally in their expressions.
Ask them how they feel; ’before you used to fight and now also you fight. Do you find a qualitative difference?’ You will find the answer in the affirmative. They will say, ‘Yes! Before I used to fight and the anger, the impression used to linger on in me. Now, I fight and I forget. I move on.’
This many people have said. This gives you a chance to accept people as they are, before or after.

Q: Dear Guruji, this question has two parts. The first part is: what is the connection between mind and soul? Is mind just a collection of thoughts?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Correct. You said it right.

Q: Where do thoughts arise from in the first place?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: This is for you to discover. It is an individual discovery.
It is like asking me how the food tastes.
If you ask someone, ‘how sweet is this dish?’, you have to taste it.
So, if you want to know where the thoughts arise, you better discover it. Thoughts are arising in you? So, you can discover it. The very process of discovery is a technique to understand another level of existence.

Read more at What Sri Sri Said Today

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