How do you control a restless mind?

Through practice and experience the mind will settle down. It is through experience that one feels dispassion/detachment (vairagya).

What is dispassion? As a child, you would get excited about cotton candy, as though eating it was the sole aim in life. Chocolate, cake and ice cream were everything to you. But as you grew older, you became indifferent to candies and chocolates and were drawn to attractive young men or women. With age, the looks of a person also ceased to attract your attention. This is known as dispassion.

In every human being’s life, some dispassion comes in naturally. But through knowledge, dispassion comes in more quickly. Otherwise, the dispassion does not mature and trickles in here and there. But if there is sharp intellect, knowledge and good satsang, dispassion comes in like a jet plane. Dispassion is not being apathetic, that everything is useless, pointless, but the attitude of ‘Been there, done that; I am above all this.’ A joyful, carefree state of being is known as dispassion.

Often, those you consider dispassionate are depressed. That is why some people are scared of those claiming to be dispassionate. Adi Shankaracharya has said, ‘Kasya sukham na karoti viraagaa’ meaning, ‘What kind of joy does dispassion not bring?’ All kinds of joy and comforts come naturally to you, without your making any effort. That is why through practice and dispassion this restless mind becomes still.

How to remain happy and peaceful

Every time you are unhappy, miserable or disturbed, you are coming in touch with your own boundaries and what can you do? You can feel thankful. “Oh! This was my limitation. I came in touch with my boundaries.” Then, that moment, you turn the whole situation into a prayer, “Let there be peace, not just in me, but in everybody.”

Prayer is that moment when you come in touch with your limitations. It is the limitation and the boundary that are the real cause of your disturbance. You are peaceful, joyful, and happy, as long as you have not come in contact with your boundaries.

The moment you come into contact with them, the mind says, “Oh! Because that person did this, this happened; this is bad, that shouldn’t be; it should be like that, it shouldn’t be this way…” At that moment, what can you do? Just say, “My Lord, make me become aware of my boundaries. Now, You bring peace, You do it, I am giving it all to You.”

That very moment, you start smiling; there is such a sigh of relief! However hopeless the situation may be, you will walk through it, sing through it, dance through it. This is love! 

In Hindi, the word “love” is “prem”, written with two-and-a-half letters. There is a saying, “Who is a real Master, a pundit, a wise person? Not the one who has studied a lot of scriptures, but the one who has studied the word with two-and-a-half letters!” This two-and-a-half lettered word is this moment. It is a test of the moment. 

When you come in touch with your limitations, your boundaries, or the small things that come along, then observe, are you hemmed in by your boundaries, or can you maintain your freedom, your non-judgmental attitude and innocent love in your heart? Is it continuing? If it is and if you can become solid in this, then nothing in the world can rob you of peace!