Why correcting a mistake is also a mistake

 

Mistakes keep happening all the time. Often you want to correct them. How much can you correct? There are two situations when you correct others' mistakes.  

• You correct someone's mistake because it bothers you. But even if you correct it, this does not work.
• You correct someone's mistake not because it bothers you, but for their sake so that they can grow.  

To correct mistakes, you need authority and love. Authority and love seem to be contradictory, but in reality they are not. Authority without love is stifling. Love without authority is shallow.

A friend needs to have both authority and love, but they need to be in the right combination. This can happen if you are totally dispassionate and centered. When you allow room for mistakes, you can be both authoritative and sweet.  

That is how the Divine is, the right balance of both. Krishna and Jesus had both. Don't make mistakes by pointing out mistakes.

Once a lady came to me and said her husband had lied to her. She was very upset. I asked, “Why does your husband lie to you? Because he loves you and is afraid to lose or hurt you. If he did not love you, he wouldn't lie to you.”  

Do not tell a person a mistake he knows he has committed. By doing this, you will only make him feel more guilty. A magnanimous person will not pick on the mistakes of others and make them feel guilty; he will correct them with compassion and care.

Understanding your boundaries

 

Every time you are unhappy or miserable, you are just coming in touch with your own boundaries. And what can you do? You can just feel thankful: “Oh, I came in touch with my boundary, my limitation. This was my limitation.”

You just turn the whole situation into prayer: “Let there be peace, not just in me but in everybody.” Prayer is that moment when you come in touch with your limitations, your boundaries.

You are peaceful, you are joyful, you are happy as long as you have not come in contact with your boundaries. The moment that you do, what can you do? You can just say, “My Lord, My God, you have made me become aware of my boundaries. You bring peace. I am giving it all to You.”

That very moment you will start smiling. However hopeless the situation is, you will walk through it, sing through it, dance through it. This is love.

In Hindi, love is written with two-and-a-half letters. They say, “Who is a master, who is a pundit, who is a wise person? Not one who has studied a lot of scriptures, but one who has studied the two-and-a-half letters.”

It is a test of the moment, when you come in touch with your limitations, your boundaries. You are happy, peaceful. Are you in the boundaries? Or are you maintaining your boundless self and the innocent love in the heart? Is it remaining? If it is, then nothing can rob you of peace.

There is no point in resisting change

 

Sorrow simply means that ‘viveka’ (discrimination) is overshadowed. Viveka means knowing that everything is changing. Your body, your emotions, the people around you and the world – everything is changing.

Time and again you have to awaken to this reality. You are often fearful of change. Change is inevitable on many fronts, though security is hooked on to stability. You know there is a need for change to improve your life, but you feel secure in the old pattern.  

You need the courage to implement changes wherever it is necessary. You have to evaluate the pros and the cons. You have to see whether something gives you short-term joy and misery in the long run or short-time pain and joy in the long run. 

Life is a combination of both change and non-change. So, use your intelligence and courageously implement changes when you feel that there is a need for change.

Why pray at all?

 

Prayer is a vital tool to improve your life. It also nurtures values like integrity and honesty. Prayer happens in two situations, or in a combination of situations: when you feel grateful or when you feel utterly helpless.  

If you are not grateful and prayerful, you will be miserable. In either case your prayers will be answered. What you can do, you do. What you cannot do, you pray for.  

It is said the divine dawns in you when you pray for it, when you sing for it. The divine is only waiting for you to dig a little deeper into yourself, because it can then fill you with much more nectar.  

Divine wants you to create more space in you. Cry from your soul for help. This is for those seekers who are weak. Those seekers who are strong with the power of knowledge can sing with that joy of what they have achieved. 

The moment you sing in gratitude, in glory of the divine, it immediately dawns in you and fills you up again. One type of people are grateful for all their growth. The other type are helpless and weak. Both will be helped.  

Spirituality is not some ritual, or doing something. It is a very pleasant, uplifted state of being and seeing the whole world as all spirit or consciousness. Use prayer to bring integration to your personality. Whatever you do, know that the higher power has the final say and it will always be the best.

Making short term and long term plans

 

At any given point of time, our mind is oscillating between the past and the future. Either it is angry or sad about the past or anxious about the future. Whatever actions you do in this state of mind, you regret after sometime.  

Does it mean that you should not plan your future? No. You should plan your short and long term goals. Then, and only then, life gets a channel, a direction to flow. When the mind is totally in the present, the right planning happens.  

Not only should you plan your goals, but plan the means and methods to work towards them. Where would you like to see yourself after three years? After 20 years? After 40 years? Don't be feverish about the result. Give your 100%.  

If you are feverish about the results, it will lead you to disappointment. Do not make a list of all the things you want to achieve. Select few things that really matter.  

Once a teacher brought a glass jar to the class and a bag with some big stones, some small stones and some sand. He asked the students to put all the contents from the bag into the glass jar. Some students put the sand first, then small stones and there was no place for big stones.  

The teacher later explained that had they put the bigger stones first, then the smaller stones, there was always space around the stones for all the sand in the bag. This example teaches us an important lesson in prioritizing things.  

If we put the things that will give us maximum fulfillment in the long term, smaller things will automatically fall into place. Among all the planets in the solar system, the earth is privileged to host life in its many forms, and among all the species, humans are most privileged, for they can host knowledge.  

Again and again, remember that you are peace, you are love, you are joy.

The marriage of service and spirituality

 

A person without emotions is like wood without any juice. You need to make yourself interesting to make people be with you. This will happen when you nurture yourself with music, prayer and service.  

The way to expand from individual to universal consciousness is to share others’ sorrow and joy. As you grow, your consciousness should also grow. When you expand in knowledge with time then depression is not possible.

The way to overcome personal misery is to share universal misery. The way to expand personal joy is to share universal joy. Instead of thinking, “What about me and what can I gain from this world?”, think, “What can I do for the world?”  

Silence heals and rejuvenates. Silence gives you depth and stability and brings creativity. Service (seva) leads to the dynamic experience of heart. It creates a sense of belongingness. Lack of service can land a person in depression.

Pain is physical. Suffering is mental. If you are not sensitive to others’ pain, then you are not a human being. That is why you need to serve. Service alone can bring contentment in life, but service without silence tires you.

Service without spirituality will be shallow and cannot be sustained for a long period. The deeper the silence, the more dynamic the outer activity. Both are essential in life. When you bring some relief or freedom to someone through seva, good vibrations and blessings come to you. Seva brings merit, merit allows you to go deep in meditation, meditation brings back your smile. When you sing and pray from your heart, your emotions are nourished and you become lively.

Only commitment will help you make this world better

 

A river needs two banks to flow. The difference between flood and normal river is that water flow is regulated in a river. During floods, water has no direction. Similarly, the energy in our life needs some direction to flow.  

If you don't give direction, it is all confusion. Today, most people are confused because there is no direction in life. When you are happy, there is so much of life-energy in you, but when this life-energy doesn't know where to go, how to go, it gets stuck. When it stagnates, it rots.  

For life-energy to move in a direction, commitment is essential. Life runs with commitment. If you observe every small thing or big thing in life, they go with certain commitment. A student takes admission in a school or college with a commitment.  

Needless to say, a family runs on commitment: mother is committed to the child, child is committed to the parents, husband is committed to wife and wife is committed to husband. Greater the commitment you take, greater the energy and power you gain to fulfill that commitment. Greater the commitment, easier things are.  

Smaller the commitment, suffocating it is for you. Smaller commitments suffocate you because you have more capacity, but you are stuck in a small hole. When you have ten things to do and if one thing goes wrong, you can keep doing the other nine things; the thing that has gone wrong will set itself right.

But if you have only one thing to do and that goes wrong, then you are stuck with it. Usually we think we should have resources and then we will commit. Greater the commitment you take, greater the resources will come to you automatically.

Whatever you are committed to brings you strength. If you are committed to your family then your family supports you, if you are committed to society, you enjoy the support of society. Commitment will always bring comfort in the long run.

Make a commitment to make this world a better place to live.

Taking time out for yourself

 

If for the whole day you are engaged in only gathering information, you do not take out time for yourself to think and reflect. A few quiet moments are resources for creativity.

Some time during the day, sit for a few minutes, get into the cave of your heart, eyes closed, and kick the world away like a ball. But, during the day, be 100 percent attached to the work. Eventually, you will be able to be both attached and detached. This is the skill of living, the art of living.  

Renunciation refills your energy. Creativity cannot happen only just through efforts. There is a beautiful story about Chhatrapati Shivaji. At one time Shivaji became so frustrated about ruling his kingdom that he went to his guru Samarth Ramdas and told him that he is fed up and that he just wants to renounce everything.  

Ramdas told him that he can renounce everything. Shivaji became so happy and relaxed at the very thought. Then Ramdas told him: “Now I am the king and you are my servant. Will you do whatever I ask you to do?” Shivaji replied: “For you I am ready to do anything.”  

Ramdas said: “Very good. Will you run this country for me?” Shivaji replied: “Yes, I will run the country for you.” Total renunciation has brought zeal and enthusiasm in him. Creativity springs up when you are relaxed.  

You have to renounce all work you have done the whole day, only then can you rest in the night. Though many times pain, struggle and frustration have brought out creativity in some people, these are not the only reasons for a person to be creative. Millions of people in the world are struggling or frustrated, but they are not creative.  

So, taking out some time for yourself improves the quality of your life.