In true intimacy all modes and all moods are involved, are included. What I mean by love is not always goody-goody and saying nice things. It is sometimes saying unpleasant things too. That is also love.
Getting angry sometimes is also love. Love is fighting, too. It is all modes. Many years back, when I was travelling abroad, I got a phone call from India. They said, “Come back quickly. When you return, we will lock you up and not let you go”. They were literally fighting with me on the phone. They wanted me home in the months of April, May, all the months. That is also out of love. Demand, with awareness, is also out of love.
You are trying to swim against the current. Still, the current is so huge, so big, you float in the same direction. You are struggling in the opposite direction, but you are moving in the same direction.
Do you see that? Everything in you is arising out of love only, because love is there. Intimacy is recognising this direction and being with the direction, feeling that you are totally loved.
If you doubt whether you are being loved or not, your capacity to love goes down. You will stop loving. You demand love, but how much have you been giving, contributing?
If you feel you have been contributing enough, loving enough, then you are not loving enough, because in love you always feel inadequacy. Any amount you do, you feel that it is inadequate. True intimacy always feels “I have not loved enough. I have not done enough”.
