Effective communication as a way to a better life

 

Learning to communicate effectively with everyone is a skill worth possessing. Most of the time you find that you are out of place. Communicating without prejudice is vital for success.  

If you are faced with someone who knows more than you, be like a child and keep your ears and eyes open for learning. If you are faced with someone who knows less than you, be humble and strive to make them as good as or better than you.  

Play with a small child as you played when you were a child. Talk with an elderly person remembering that one day you will be like that. Communicate with a person of your age group like you are his or her best friend.  

This world is varied beyond our imagination, and there's always something to share, learn and teach. When you are centered, you become a powerful communicator. And when your communication improves, your life improves.

Here's why it's necessary to make meditation a part of your life

 

The higher goals in life can only be realised through a few minutes of meditation and introspection.  

What is meditation? Mind without agitation is meditation. Mind in the present moment is meditation. Mind that has no hesitation, no anticipation is meditation. Mind that has come back home, to the source, is meditation. Mind that becomes no-mind is meditation.  

Deeper you are able to rest, more dynamic you will be in activity. Even though deep rest and dynamic activity are opposite values, they are complementary. Before the body leaves you, you learn to leave everything. That is freedom.  

What are you looking for? Are you looking for some great joy? You are joy. I will give you an example. Have you seen dogs biting bones? You know why they bite bones? Biting wounds their mouth. Its own blood comes out and the dog feels that the bone is very tasty. Poor dog spends the whole time chewing the bone but getting nothing out of it.  

Any joy you experience in life is from the depth of yourself, when you let go all that you hold onto and settle down being centered in that space. That is called meditation. Actually, meditation is not an act, it is the art of doing nothing.  

The rest in meditation is deeper than the deepest sleep that you can ever have because in meditation you transcend all desires. Meditation is letting go of anger from the past and all the planning for the future. Meditation is accepting this moment and living every moment totally with depth.  

Just this understanding and a few days of continuous practice of meditation can change the quality of our life. The best comparison of the three states of consciousness – waking, sleeping and dreaming – is with nature.  

Nature sleeps, awakes and dreams. It happens on a magnificent scale in existence and it is happening in a different scale in the human body. Wakefulness and sleep are like sunrise and darkness. Dream is like the twilight in between.  

Meditation is like the flight to the outer space, where there is no sunset, no sunrise, nothing. I am sure that deep within, every one of you feel that you have not grown, meaning you have not changed, not grown old. This indicates the soul in you, the depth in you, the spirit in you doesn't change, doesn't grow old, it's not aging.

There is no life without enthusiasm

 

Enthusiasm is the nature of life. We often have a tendency to put cold water on others' enthusiasm. Reverse this tendency. Take every opportunity to praise others and support their enthusiasm.  

If you put down others' enthusiasm, the same may happen to you. As you sow, so shall you reap. Recollect how much enthusiasm and joy you had when you went to the primary school. Someone without enthusiasm is like a corpse.  

But as you mature, the enthusiasm curve declines. As enthusiasm declines, we stop communicating. How would you like to see yourself?  

Divine wants you to create more space in you. Cry from your soul for help. This is for those seekers who are weak. Those seekers who are strong with the power of knowledge can sing with that joy of what they have achieved.  

The moment you sing in gratitude, in glory of the divine, enthusiasm immediately dawns in you, and fills you up again. People of one type are grateful for all their growth. Those of the other type are helpless and weak. Both types will be helped.  

Spirituality is not some ritual, or doing something. It is a very pleasant, uplifted state of being and seeing the whole world as all spirit or consciousness. Whatever you do, know that the higher power has the final say and it will always be the best.

Don't lose your smile so easily

 

A research done in England found that a baby smiles 400 times a day, an adolescent 17 times and an adult doesn't smile at all. The more successful one keeps a very stiff face.  

Is roughness a sign of success? Is being stressed a sign of prosperity, growth or dignity? You should smile more. Everyday, every morning, look at the mirror and give a good smile to yourself.  

You know what happens when you smile? All the muscles in your face get relaxed. The nerves in your brain get relaxation, and you get the confidence, courage and energy to move on in life.  

You know, your smile is so fragile. Just one telephone call is enough to take it away. But what is the big deal about your feelings? Bundle them up and throw them into the ocean. Once you are rid of your feelings you can be happy.  

Just see why your spirits go down? Because somebody said something stupid to you. Why did they say a stupid thing? Because they had some garbage they needed to throw out and you were there, ready to catch it, and once you have caught it, you hold onto it so passionately.  

Come on. Wake up. Don't let your smile be snatched away by anybody. Usually, you give your anger freely and smile rarely as though a smile is costly. In ignorance, anger is cheaper and smile costly. In knowledge, a smile is free like sun, air and water and anger is extremely expensive, like a diamond.  

Make your smile cheaper and anger expensive. You are here for a greater cause. Just remember that. Take a challenge: Come what may, I am going to smile today and be happy. Smile more.

Life is impermanent

 

See the impermanence in this life. That is the truth. Turn back and see that all that you did is like a dream. All have passed, the whole thing is finished. Tomorrow will pass.

Now and then, a pinch of unpleasantness comes. It makes you aware of your pleasantness. Suppose you never had unpleasant moments in life, you would never have pleasant ones. Your life would stagnate in utter boredom and you would become like a stone.

So, in order to keep you alive, now and then, here and there, nature gives you a little pinch. It makes life more lively. Accept it. You don’t have to be afraid in life. There is always support. So, every pinch that you are having in life is for the best, to make your life more lively and enjoyable.

Day and night you work so hard. The whole week is spent working, coming home tired, eating, going to bed. The same routine the next day. Weekends have become another routine.

If you’re awake, then you see there is so much foolishness. Just watch when four or five people get together and have a gossip session. In a gossip session, you can immediately change the topic of conversation. This is the thing with a crowd.  

If ten people are talking about the weather and you change the topic to stock markets, everybody will immediately talk stock markets, whether they know about them or not. It is great fun.  

Being aware of this impermanent nature of our life, you find that there is something in you that has not changed. There is a reference point by which you can say things are changing. That reference point is the source of life. That is wisdom. With wisdom, your life improves.

If you take care of your mind, all else will be taken care of

 

Look at your own life in the light of time. Millions of years have passed and millions will come. What is your life? 60, 70 or 100 years? Span of life is insignificant. It is not even a drop in the ocean.  

In terms of space, you simply don't exist. This understanding dissolves the ego. Ego is ignorance of your reality, ignorance of your existence.

Now, just to know this, do we have to do something else? Just open your eyes: Who am I? How am I on this planet? What is my lifetime? Awareness dawns in the mind and you will stop worrying about little things like, this person said this thing to me and that person broke away with me and this happened with that person and I am going to say this.  

All smallness will simply drop away, and you will be able to live every moment of your life. Your life reels around your context. You should be happy in life. All other business involves ups and downs which is very natural.  

If there is a body, then it will get cold, cough, fever or something else and it will go away. But take care to see that happiness is always established in you. That is known as purashaarth. Our love, faith and belief should be deep-rooted, then everything else moves on its own.  

How many events take place in life? Are you able to maintain your equanimity always? Not everything in the world is sweet. If you are grounded with faith, like the husk with grain, you will progress.  

Take this decision: Whatever happens I will be there. I will be grounded. God’s protection is there on me. Whatever happens, I will never go down. I always have God’s hand with me.  

Keep your mind in peace in all situations. The rest will be taken care of. You have to take at least one step forward, which is to be in peace and equanimity. Nothing happened. Nothing of my work happened. If you are able to laugh in such a situation, then understand that you have protection with you.  

The world is filled with love. Everybody has love inside them. You have to see that in your mind. Your head will be in the mud in a few years, don't put mud in your head while you are still alive. If you review the context of your life, the quality of your life will improve.

Stop trying to understand your feelings, emotions

 

All our struggles in life are to know more. You are trying your level best to understand feelings and emotions, and you get into more and more confusion.  

This is what has happened with psychology today. It tries to explain to you why you feel like the way you are feeling. The “why” arises always when you are unhappy. You ask, “Why this problem to me of all the people?” Nobody ever asked, “Why am I so happy?”  

You wanted to understand, “Why am I not feeling good?”, or “Why am I angry?”, or “Why is this not happening?” The more you try to understand and try to dig in, you seem to understand less and less. The mystery deepens; an illusion comes as though “I know it”. But that is for a short while.  

We ourselves do not know and we try to explain others. Stop your explanations. You put yourself into a soup and also make other people more confused.  

We need to learn a little bit about our breath. We need to know a little bit about all the layers of our existence – body, breath, mind, intellect, memory, ego and the self. This is what I call Art of Living, learning a little bit about ourselves, the seven layers of our life. And that makes you be in the present moment, and it helps us to maintain the innocence that we are all born with and feel at home with everybody, anywhere.  

What I would suggest is, take one week off every year for yourself, like you take your car for servicing. During that time, align yourself with nature, wake up with the sunrise, do some exercise, eat proper food, just as much food as necessary, some exercises, a few minutes of singing, and then some silent moments, enjoying the creation. Book yourself on a trip to this most beautiful place in the universe. Then you find that every day is a vacation and a celebration.

Questions about life

 

Have you ever thought 

1. What is the purpose of your life?  

2. What is the meaning of life?  

3. What is life all about?  

These questions are very, very precious. When these questions dawn in your mind, only then your life begins.  

But, when these questions come into your mind, don't be in a hurry to get an answer. Those who know will not tell you and those who tell, don't know. You can plug your ears and walk off.  

These questions are the tools by which you can dig deeper and the answers come from within you. Once these questions come into your life then you start “living” life rather than just existing.  

To know for what you are on this planet, find out what you are not here for. 

• You are not here to be sad. 
• You are not here to blame. 
• You are not here to be miserable. 
• You are not here to worry. 
• You are not here to show off. 
• You are not here to get stressed out. 
• You are not here to get irritated and irritate others. 

The list goes on.

Need for introspection

In this era of science and technology, we can be creative and productive, and at the same time, not lose the humanness that we are all born with.  

Just material things or comfort alone do not make you comfortable. You may have a good bed to sleep on but, be unable to sleep because of insomnia or worry.  

You need to get a broad understanding about yourself and your priorities. Clarity in the mind makes things much easier. Understanding your basic emotions like love, your interaction with people around you, knowing about your ego or what your intellect or mind is saying to you, and introspection will give you a few minutes of relaxation which is very vital.

So, what is most important is introspection about one's own life and how to improve the quality of life. This intention itself will open many doors for you to feel better about yourself.  

First of all, find out for yourself whether you are healthy. Health is:

• A disease-free body.
• A quiver-free breath. 
• A stress-free mind.
• An inhibition-free intellect.
• An obsession-free memory.
• An ego that includes all.
• A soul that is free from sorrow.

Boredom is an opportunity!

 

In life both are essential, the heart and the head. If you are only in the heart, it is no good. And if you are only stuck in the head, that is also no good. Balancing both is Yoga. Spirituality is balancing the heart and head together. Anyone who feels that they are a failure, just wake up! So what?! Life is eternal.

Meditation acts like a bridge connecting your head and heart. Take a few moments to sit down, be open to boredom, and you’ll effortlessly move into a deep meditative state. Otherwise, that boredom might just lead you to sleep. It’s a choice — either you sleep, become more sluggish, or you seize the opportunity of boredom to delve into a deep meditation. There are 365 days in a year and there are so many years in your life. If for one or two days you feel you are wasted, life is a failure, it’s okay, never mind!

On a full moon, if it is cloudy and the light cannot shine on the Earth, the moon does not get upset. If on one full moon night, you cannot see the moon rising, so what? The moon is still there. Like that, inside you there is potential, there is divinity which is so complete. If it has not come to the surface in one day, never mind! You have all the great qualities. If some do not exhibit on a particular day, never mind.

Don’t blame yourself, don’t analyze yourself too much. We start analysing ourselves too much; to the extent that we feel upset and down. We are so hard on ourselves. I am saying this to those who feel bad about themselves. NEVER MIND, WAKE UP! Never mind if these many years are wasted. The future is bright and there is still so much for you to do. All regrets happen only when you are looking at the past. If you are walking and your head is turned backwards, then that is called regret. Turn your head and look forward, and you will see the future is always bright.

How is boredom related to memory

 

In an ocean, the waves keep coming non-stop, it doesn’t get boring! Birds sing the same song, every morning, all their life, they don’t get bored! It is only human beings who get bored! ‘Oh! Once again the same thing.’ And why do you get bored? It is because of memory. You remember whatever you have done before, so you get bored.

Memory is both a blessing and a curse. It is because you get bored that you feel the need to look for something different, something new, and that is how creativity comes up; you look for the ultimate. Otherwise, you could have remained like an animal doing the same thing every day. But, you can’t do it because you get bored! So, in that sense, boredom is a blessing. Because you get bored, you move on, you look forward, you become a seeker and you rise higher. 

At the same time, boredom is also a curse because it doesn’t allow you to be centered and steady in one place. So your mind aimlessly keeps jumping from one place to another. Because you get bored of everything, you can’t enjoy anything.

There are two different paths that boredom leads you to. Boredom is a blessing when it leads you to wisdom. Boredom is a curse when it leads you to frustration and depression. Because you are bored, you can’t enjoy it, and when you can’t enjoy it you get depressed and frustrated. Or, because you are bored you wake up and begin with a quest.

When life feels dull, there’s this magical moment where everything becomes lively. You can repeat the same thing over and over, and it won’t bother you. It’s like finding a spring of life. Just let go of the past, be like a carefree child, and every moment becomes priceless.

You move ahead and you look into the Self which is fresh all the time! The Self is ever new. Because you are bored with the ephemeral, the surface, you go deep into the Self. So boredom is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it takes you away from the routine monotonous life, makes you aware and brings life into you. And it is a curse because it doesn’t let you stabilise. People who are in love don’t get bored. The heart knows no boredom. The head knows boredom.

Sacredness of certain symbolism

 

In all cultures throughout the ages, certain places, times of the year, persons and symbols have been considered sacred. Native Americans and other tribal people consider the earth, sun, moon and all the directions to be sacred. In the ancient tradition of India, the rishis considered all the rivers, mountains and even animals, trees and herbs to be sacred. 

And what of people? They are definitely sacred. Various cultures honor certain people and consider them to be sacred. 

For Christians, the cross, Jerusalem, Christmas and the Pope are sacred. For Muslims, the crescent moon, Mecca and the month of Ramadan are sacred. The Hindus consider the river Ganges, the Himalayas and the Swamis to be sacred. 

When you consider a place, time, person, symbol, or act sacred, your attention is undivided and whole. When things are ordinary and the same, you tend to slip into unawareness and inertia. The moment you consider something sacred, your inertia disappears and you become more alive.

There is nothing as fulfilling as a sacred act. You put your heart and soul into a sacred act. When every action of yours becomes sacred, you have become one with the Divine. Then every minute of your life is sacred, every place you go to becomes sacred, every act of yours is sacred and every person you meet is only your reflection. 

An act when performed repeatedly loses its sacredness. This happens when your memory overpowers your consciousness and you lose your sensitivity. For example, people living in Benares do not feel that it is a sacred place. It is too familiar; that sensitivity is just not there. 

How can we preserve that feeling of sacredness in our acts? Through living in the present moment and through sadhana (spiritual practice). Your sadhana will not allow your memory to overpower consciousness. Then repetition is not a hindrance. 

It is good to feel that some places, times, people and symbols are sacred so that you can be awake and alive. But eventually you need to transcend and feel that the entire creation and your whole life are sacred. 

For the person of God, the whole world, with all its symbols, places and people are sacred at all times. Be a person of God!

Don't try to shorten "longing"

 

Longing itself is Divine. 

Longing for worldly things makes you inert. 

Longing for infinity fills you with life.

When longing dies, inertia sets in. But longing also brings a sense of pain. To avoid the pain, you try to push away the longing. The skill is to bear the pain of longing and move on. Do not try to find a shortcut to overcome longing. Do not make the longing short – that’s why it is called loooonging. 

True longing in itself brings up moments of bliss. That is why in ancient days longing was kept alive by singing and listening to kathas, or stories. 

When longing transcends relationships, then judgments, jealousy and all negative feelings drop. It is only with wisdom and self-knowledge that one can transcend relationships.

People often think wisdom is devoid of longing. No! Such wisdom is dry. The longing that comes with true wisdom makes life juicier. The Divine is certainly juicy! 

Longing gives you the power to bless. Bless the entire creation for the longing in you is God.