Why Does the Mind Get Attracted to Negativity?

What is Negativity?

The mind does not always get attracted to negativity! Let us understand what negativity is. When would you call something negative?

• When it does not give you pleasure
• When it gives you a lot of pain
• When it appears to give you pleasure, but in fact it gives you pain

Let us take for example, smoking. Smoking appears to give you pleasure, but it does not really give you pleasure. Look at the face of all those people who smoke. Are they in bliss and serenity? Are they happy and content? No! There is stress and anger. Now, why is it that they are unable to give up? It is because it promises you pleasure but gives you pain – that is negativity.

So, what is the definition of negativity? It is that which appears to give you pleasure, but in fact gives you pain and suffering.

I will tell you a small story to illustrate this. A gentleman went to a magic fare which has many magical things. There were magical flowers, a magical pond, etc. Amongst the different items, there was this magical conch, which was priced very high. The other items had low prices, but the attractive conch had a price tag of $50,000. You know, when things cost a lot of money, then people think – there must be something to it, otherwise why would someone pay $50,000 for a shell.

So, this gentleman went and asked, “What is this?”
The shopkeeper said, “This is a magical speaking conch. If you ask this conch for something, it will double it for you. That is why it is for $50,000.”
Very greedy people go for such offers. And so, this man bought the conch and took it home.

At home, this man said to the conch, “Give me one million dollars”.
The conch said, “Why ask for one million? Ask for two million dollars.”
Then the man said, “Oh, okay, two million.”
The conch said, “Why two million, ask for four million.”
The man said, “Okay, give me four million.”
The conch said, “Why four million, ask for eight million.”
At this point, the man got frustrated and said, “Fine, give me eight million.”
The conch said, “Why ask for eight million, ask for 16 million.”
The man said, “Okay, give me 16 million.”
The conch simply kept multiplying but did not give him anything.

So, negativity is like this – empty promises of giving some joy sometime, but it simply does not give you anything. That is why it is called negative things.

How Does Complaining Make You Feel?

You sit and gossip about somebody, it appears to give you some pleasure, but what does it leave you with? Have you noticed? Your body feels odd, and your mind feels awkward.

When you sit and just complain and complain, sometimes you find that it gives you some sort of pleasure, but in fact, it leads you to a state where you get so disgusted with yourself and your own mind. You feel like running away from your own mind. Running away is not going to help, because wherever you go, your mind is going to go along with you. It is like trying to run away from your shadow.

Why Does The Mind Tend to Cling to Negativity?

The nature of mind clinging to negativity is because it has moved away from its own true nature. A child does not do that – so it is not our innate born nature to cling towards negativity. It has become our second nature.

10 positive things and one negative thing – and the mind clings onto the negative. So, it is wrong to say that negativity is our innate nature, no! It appears as though it is our nature – it has become our second nature because of stress.

Mind craves for something and is averse to something. That’s alright. But at least for some time, the pendulum of the mind can stop. When it stops, it feels so nice and that is why the practices of Yoga, Pranayama and Meditation are important. These practices change the tendency of the mind from clinging onto the negativity.

The mind swings between craving and aversions, and it needs some rest sometimes, and doing all this will bring that calmness to the mind.

Also wisdom gradually helps one to get rid of all the cravings and aversions in the mind.

At the International Women's Conference,

February 23, 2018, Bengaluru

Spirituality Transcends Gender

You wonder, what has spirituality got to do with gender? Really, it has nothing to do with gender because spirituality transcends gender.

What is spirituality? Is it something that is not normal or natural? No! We are made up of matter and spirit. Our body has amino acids, proteins, carbohydrates and all that. And our spirit is made up of love, compassion and peace. All that which enhances the value of spirit is spirituality, and women need it all the more because women are the greatest influencers.

A woman influences her children, influences her spouse, influences her parents, and the society. A woman is very gentle and soft so she needs the strength. Spirituality is what gives her that strength and inner peace. If you don’t have inner peace, you can’t have peace in the family.

A Peaceful Woman Can Remove Conflicts

A woman is a woman’s best friend and worst enemy as well. Many conflicts arise between two women. If families are splitting, mostly the cause of it would be a woman because a woman is emotional. This is why it is important for women to find inner strength and peace. If she is peaceful, she can manage all other conflicts at home. But if she is disturbed, and has tears in her eyes, it keeps everyone on their toes.

Having said this, I would also like to say to all the women here today:

• Women don’t need to go and ask someone to empower them. They already have the power.
  In this country, from ancient times and in mythology, all the power has been kept with the goddesses. The ministry of wealth is Devi Lakshmi, the ministry of education is Devi Saraswati, and the ministry of defense is with Devi Durga. What is left? Nothing much is left with the man actually. So, the main power is with Devi, and so is the same with woman.
  In India, we don’t say ‘Mr. and Mrs.’, we say ‘Shrimati and Shriman’. So women empowerment is already there. Take it for granted.
   
• Don’t take things too seriously, have fun.
  If you have fun, you can create fun all around. If you are uptight, you create such an uptight atmosphere around you. So, humor, entertainment, wisdom – all these qualities help you be your natural self.
  You know, in this country, women have created 56,000 types of food. You go to Tripura, which is a small province near Myanmar and Bangladesh border, this little state alone has some 180 types of food varieties. People do not know this.
  Similarly, music and dance, without all this life is so dry. And creating an atmosphere where people talk about wisdom rather than complain about each other or create problems is natural to women. Creating an atmosphere of celebration is inbuilt in women. You have to make use of this tendency, this strengths that you have.
  If there were more women religious leaders, perhaps there wouldn’t be so much conflict in the world today. Either there would be no conflict or there would be much worse conflict.
   
• Don’t listen to people who say that women cannot lead religious or spiritual areas. 
  Gender equality is to be honored in every country, and if religious leaders take up gender equality, we can move forward very fast.
  So, there are areas for women to take a lead in. Don’t wait for someone to invite you. Just jump in and take the lead, like the wonderful women present here have already done.

Innovation and inspiration will come when we have inner peace. A peaceful individual only can make peaceful families. And peaceful families can make peaceful localities and communities. And if communities are peaceful, only then can the nation be peaceful. So the root cause is to find the inner strength, inner peace and that you can do through meditation, yoga, selfless service, and music. There are so many ways to find inner peace.