Renounce your way to true love

 

Only who has renounced can love. To the degree you have renounced, to that degree will you have the ability to love. Often people think those who renounce cannot love, and those who love cannot renounce. This is because renunciates do not seem to be in love, and so-called lovers are possessive and needy. 

True love is not possessive, it brings freedom, and renunciation is nothing but freedom. Only in freedom can love blossom fully. When you are in love you say, “I want nothing, I just want this”. Renunciation is, “I do not want anything. I am free”. In love there is no other need. Renunciation is having no need. Love and renunciation, although appearing to be opposites, are two sides of the same coin.

Does this mean the lover renounces his beloved? No, you renounce the attachment, the possessiveness. Renunciation doesn’t diminish love, it enhances it. Only renunciation can sustain love and joy. Without renunciation love turns into misery, possessiveness, jealousy and anger. Renunciation brings contentment and contentment sustains love.

Without renunciation one gets discontented, frustrated, sad, fearful, suspicious, analytical. And the whole soap opera begins. And this is what we find in society don’t we? So-called renunciates have run away from life frustrated and disappointed. Real renunciation is born out of knowledge and wisdom, knowledge of life in the background of time and space and in the context of this magnanimous universe. You have to rejoice in the means. You have to love the means. Love is the goal but the means must also be lovable. Love springs forth when there is no effort, when all activities are shunned.

Love is your nature. When love finds an expression, you often become ensnared get caught up in the object. Your sight is caught outside. To return to your nature, you need insight. 

Pain is the first insight. It takes you away from the object and turns you towards your body and mind. Energy is the second insight. A bolt of energy brings you back to your self. Divine love is the third insight. A glimpse of Divine love makes you complete and overrules all relative pleasures. Ecstasy is the fourth insight. An elevation of consciousness and partial awareness of the physical reality around you is ecstasy. Non-dual awareness, that everything is made up of one and only one, is the fifth insight.

Don't give love, a (bad) name

 

An example inspires and brings confidence in the application of knowledge, and the visible sign of it is an undying smile. The self knows neither sorrow nor death, yet within it flow all the relative events. It is easy to be detached when you are not in love. Being in utter love, and yet undisturbed, caring yet not worried, persistent yet not perturbed, are all the obvious signs of the self shining through. 

Let love be. Do not give it a name. When you give love a name it becomes a relationship, and relationships restrict love. There is love between you and me. Just let it be.

If you give love a name, such as brother, sister, mother, father, Guru - you are making it into a relationship. Relationship restricts love. What is your relationship to yourself? Are you your wife, brother, husband, Guru? Let love be. Do not give it a name. When love glows, it is bliss. When it flows, it is compassion. When it blows, it is anger. When it ferments, it is jealousy. When it is all 'no's', it is hatred. When it acts, it is perfection. When love knows, it is me. With whom do you feel really comfortable and at ease? You feel comfortable with someone who does not question your love, someone who takes for granted that you love them. 

If someone doubts your love and you constantly have to prove it, this becomes a heavy load on your head. They start questioning you and demanding explanations for all your actions. Explaining everything you do is a burden. Your nature is to shed the burden, so because you do not feel comfortable. When you question the reason behind an action, you are asking for justice for yourself and you create a distance. Your whole intention is to come close, but by asking for justice you create a distance. When someone asks for an explanation, they are speaking from doership and are imposing that doership on you. This brings discomfort. If someone is just there with you, a part of you, they do not question you. They are like your arm.

There is a closeness and unity that goes beyond all demands and questions. Neither demand an explanation nor give an explanation. You are the eternal witness. You are as much a witness to your own actions as you are to someone else’s actions.