I know you have a lot of confusion.
There is a Chinese proverb that says, ‘The best thing to do when you are so confused is to take a pillow and go to bed.’
When you are so confused any choice you make, you will think something else is better. So leave it to nature and go to bed. Then whatever falls into your lap that is what your choice is, just accept it.
This is what Chinese people do and they are doing well.
