Making a difference by fostering a sense of belongingness


Turn to the person next to you and tell that person, ‘I don’t trust you.’ Did you do it? To trust someone can be difficult, it is easier to doubt still we are unable to do even that.

Let’s do an exercise. Just close your eyes for thirty seconds and imagine everybody telling you, ‘I don’t trust you.’ Wherever you go, everyone looks at you with suspicion, you go to the supermarket, everyone considers you a thief. Okay, now open your eyes. How did you feel; bad, frustrated? Did some feel a sense of liberation, felt good about it?

Look, we don’t like it when people do not trust us; it doesn’t feel good, right? All the energy that we build up around us is full of tension, right? Unpleasant vibrations being produced and then we walk around with such a vibration which says, ‘I don’t trust you, I don’t trust you.’

If you go to the villages you do not see such a thing. Go to a village, you go to a rural area, everyone will say, ‘Come, come; welcome, welcome!’ A sense of belongingness, this is India, ‘Bharat’, where there is a sense of belongingness. The uniqueness of India you can see in the villages. This warmth and belongingness is spirituality.

Where has the word ‘aatmiyata’ (oneness, belongingness) come from? It has come from ‘aadhyatma’ (spirituality). ‘Aadhyatma’ means that which is connected to the spirit. Sense of belongingness is a unique feature of India.

Now observe, has life improved or worsened? In the home, distance is increasing, from mother and father, between brother and sister, sense of belongingness is dying away. Is that true or not? Then there is only sadness in life, life becomes dull, insipid. As life loses its flavor, greed increases. Dullness gives rise to greed. As dullness spreads in life, what then? Accumulate, accumulate, accumulate; how much to accumulate? You will die one day after having accumulated all that wealth in the bank and the children keep fighting over it and court cases happen. All life was spent in accumulating wealth in the bank, and one day you died without having done anything else. And you made the children fight on account of it! There is no love among children even while the parents are alive. They are busy accumulating money. They will cause fights even after death, this is the situation.

The Indian scriptures have analyzed all this so thoroughly. Whatever you have earned, set aside twenty percent for society, twenty percent for yourself, twenty percent for emergencies – emergency funds, twenty percent for children, one fifth for your wife, one fifth for your work, and spend one-fifth on personal expenses. These rules have been laid out. It’s a very beautiful way. If you look there is so much taxation, nobody gives more than that. Similarly, our scriptures have placed a limit on everything. Not that hundred percent should be saved for children, no! If you have to save money for children, set aside only so much. The children will earn the rest on their own once they stand on their own feet. That is what has been said. Make children earn money rather than store everything and give them and make them lazy and useless.

So it’s very difficult when we say, ‘I don’t trust’ and it’s difficult to feel that nobody trusts you. And we walk around creating such a vibration – ‘I don’t trust you, I don’t trust you,’ and you become so unattractive. We don’t want this to happen in our country, don’t you think so? We need to have a wave of belongingness, sense of freedom, trust.

You know the nature of doubt? Doubt is always about something positive. If someone tells you, ‘I love you so much’, you will say, ‘Really?’ If someone says, ‘I hate you’, you won’t ask, ‘Really?’ If someone asks you, ‘Are you happy?’ You will say, ‘Oh, I’m not sure.’ Someone asks, ‘Are you unhappy,’ you are ready to keep a long face and say, ‘I’m not happy.’ You say, ‘Everything is fine,’ but from the face you can make out nothing is fine.

It’s a useless dialogue that we have on a day-to-day basis. Someone asks, ‘how are you?’ Answer is ‘Very well.’ If you look at their face, they don’t look well. But they say they are well! So we doubt happiness. We are never sure about happiness. But we are so sure about our depression. You are depressed then you do not doubt it. ‘Am I depressed or not?’ No one says that. You don’t doubt your weaknesses; you always doubt your capabilities. Nobody doubts their weaknesses.
Similarly you doubt the honesty of someone but you never doubt their dishonesty. Someone is very honest but on one occasion may have been dishonest. But you are sure about their dishonesty. This is not India. In India we are taught to honour even a dishonest person who is teaching us something by falling into a ditch.
Such awareness is unique to India, something unique! But we are losing it very fast. You know who feels insecure? One who does not have sense of belongingness or one who does not have a guide or someone who is there to say, ‘I am there for you. I am there.’ One who can give this confidence is missing. In this country there used to be a Guru or a Purohit (spiritual adviser) in every village. The elderly would give that confidence, ‘You move forward, I will watch over you.’
Nowadays, so many suicides are happening in the IITs for this very reason. They are asked to do pranayama and meditation, and they say, ‘Oh, this is religious; I am not going to do it.’ While the world is adopting our culture; Harvard University, Columbia University and other universities abroad are saying we need these values. Here in our country we start putting barriers saying these are religious. What is there in religion? Doing Yoga, pranayama, meditation, this is all good. It will build the energy; it will help the person from inside. The mental, spiritual energy, the spirit becomes alive. The thought of committing suicide will not occur at all. The whole atmosphere will be positive and full of energy.
At least do one thing. Wherever you go, at least smile more. And if you find somebody who looks down, face looks tired, sad, just talk to them a little. ‘What is it I can do for you?’ We should do only that which we can. If they expect you to do something you cannot do, just beg their forgiveness. If someone asks you to treat them, you will say, ‘I am not a doctor.’ But at least do what you can. Can you do that? We have to create a divine beautiful society.
Drop all selfishness. Whatever we earn in life, we have to set aside two to three percent. There are so many slums in Delhi, there is so much work to be done, and so many people are drinking alcohol, bickering and fighting. Can we do something for them? If we all gather our energy, if we divide Delhi in zones, go to different locations, areas, and create an atmosphere where people are happy, they are meditating, they are doing satsang, they are singing , they are dancing, you will find a huge difference; a change. We have seen it happening in many, many places. I am very confident we can gather our energy and instil spiritual or humanitarian values. It is very easy to give away food and clothes, but creating a force within them by which they can maintain their smile, sense of belongingness - we will be making a huge difference.