When you pass judgement against or label people, your behaviour starts getting disturbed. You become stiff because of the seeds of negativity you are carrying against others, and your vibration becomes negative. You don’t even realize that you are carrying negativity within you.
Negativity is such that you get sucked into it without being conscious of it. That is why we need to develop our awareness. To begin, ask yourself these four questions:
#1 Are you wasting mental energy paying attention to things that don’t matter?
When the mind expands and recognizes its vastness, then trivial matters don't bother you. Otherwise, you tend to get so stuck in the small things. Every now and then you think: "He said so and so to me, she said that to me, that person did not even look at me, that person spoke so harshly to me", and so on. You waste so much of your mental energy paying attention to these useless things. This happens because you have not broadened your vision. My dear, life is so temporary and fleeting. Your life is short. Where in this short life do you have the time to bother about who said what and why? Why then get stuck in this mess?
I tell you, even if God Himself comes and says a few harsh words to you, you should remain smiling and be centered. Think of that as a gift, as a Prasad (blessing or sacred offering).
I tell you, even if God Himself comes and says a few harsh words to you, you should remain smiling and be centered. Think of that as a gift, as a Prasad (blessing or sacred offering).
You should make your mind highly centered and unshakeable within yourself, like a pillar. Do not get carried away or troubled by trivial occurrences around you. Otherwise, you get so troubled by trivial and temporary things. Not only do you get troubled, you also trouble others around you. In fact, we end up disturbing others twice or thrice as much.
Again and again, you must remind yourself to wake up. Come back to awareness and realize that “I am full and content in every way. God is with me at all times, and whatever is required for me will happen at the right time.”
#2 Are you blaming or criticizing the people around you? Do you harbor any hate?
You are not going to gain anything by blaming or criticizing others. And to whatever extent possible, see that you do not create enmity or hatred with anyone.
Think deeply and go within your own mind; ask yourself whom you have hatred for. When you realize that, then strive to drop that hatred from within. In fact, I would say that not only strive, you should completely do away with hatred and cleanse yourself. Otherwise there can be no real progress in life. See, whatever you are to receive, you will surely get it, through someone or the other. When your karma is such that you are to receive something in life, I tell you, even Lord Brahma or Ravana cannot come in the way of that. But if your karma is to receive hurt or discomfort, then whether it is your enemy or your close friends and family, it will come to you and you will have to go through it. Having aversion towards something or someone and avoiding them is a sign of an ignorant person. It is not the quality of a true seeker. A true seeker is happy at all times.
#3 Do people feel a sense of peace and calm in your presence?
Once, when I was in college, a person came and stood before me and started yelling at the top of his voice. He was yelling so loudly and angrily that every vein of this throat could be seen visibly. There was so much hatred and anger in his eyes. Why so? It so happened that I became popular with the students and many of them held me in high regard. This person did not like that and became very uncomfortable with all the attention I was getting. He was around 50 or 60 years in age, and the thought of an 18- to 20-year-old boy getting so much attention and following troubled him a lot. He shouted so much and even used very harsh words at me. I did not pay attention or listen to all that. Instead, I felt concerned that something should not happen to him because of all this anger welling up in him. So, I quickly stepped inside and brought some water for him. Seeing the glass of water in front of him, he suddenly became quiet. I asked him to relax and sit down.
See, our presence should be such that no matter who comes to us, they should feel a sense of peace and calm. No matter what kind of person they may be, whatever kind of outward behavior they may have – remember that is their problem and they would have to pay the price for that. You should pay attention to how you are behaving with others. You should ask yourself this question again and again – "Is my behaviour loving and cordial with everyone?" When I am loving and cordial with everyone, then the entire world is with me and will support me – you should remember this.
#4 Do you feel that you need to be treated properly?
You should think, “I do not need any special treatment; I do not expect anything from anyone. I am seeped in love and I will be loving and peaceful with everyone.” When you establish yourself strongly in this belief, then you will see that everyone in the world will be your friend. But if you think, “Oh! This person was so rude and disrespectful to me. Why should I be good and respectful to him?”, tell me, who is really at loss here? Then there has not been much real progress in your life. It would mean you are still stuck in the old patterns of your mind; you are still swimming in the small and dirty pool of your narrow mind. You end up thinking that this is all there is to the world. My dear, just come out of all this. There is sweet nectar flowing all around you. Imbibe and fill your life with that sweetness instead. What great enmity can you have with someone else? Why do you keep your mind so strained and troubled with such negativity? This causes a lot of stress and damage to your brain.
Yes, one should definitely take the right action at the right time as is required. I am not saying that you do something foolish like handing over your purse to your enemy. But what you can surely do is look at everyone with a smile. You can at least cleanse your own mind and get rid of whatever garbage and negativity is present in the mind.
