Do not tell a person about a mistake they know that they made. What is the use of pointing out a mistake that one knows one has committed? By doing this, you will only make that person feel more guilty, defensive, or resentful and this only creates more distance.
And do not point out a person’s mistake if they are aware of it but does not want you to know about it. Often people know their mistakes, but they do not want you to point them out. You should only point out a person’s mistake if they are not aware of it and wants to know about it.
Think about the usefulness of your comments. Before pointing out a person’s mistake, see whether your comments will help to improve the situation, foster love, or bring harmony. A magnanimous person does not point out the mistakes of others and make them feel guilty. Instead, they correct others’ mistakes with compassion and care, not through words but through their attitude.
Often, in establishing your righteousness, you are insensitive to the feelings of others. When someone is hurt, arguing with them and establishing your righteousness will be in vain. By simply saying “I’m sorry,” you can uplift the other person and take away the bitterness. In many situations saying “I’m sorry” is better than establishing your righteousness – it can avert much unpleasantness.
Sorry – this one word of five letters, when said sincerely, can remove anger, guilt, hatred and distance. Many people feel pride in hearing “I’m sorry” from others – it boosts their ego.
But when you say “I’m sorry” to a wise man, it evokes compassion at your ignorance. And when you say “I’m sorry” to your Guru, he will get angry and say, “Go! Listen to Ashtavakra!” Your apology indicates doer-ship – you feel that you have made a mistake.
A mistake is part of an unconscious mind. An unconscious mind cannot do right while a conscious mind can do no wrong. The mind that makes the mistake and the mind that realizes the mistake – the mind that says “I’m sorry” – are entirely different, aren’t they? The mind that apologizes cannot be an unconscious mind. Therefore, sincerely saying “I’m sorry” is a big mistake. Did you get it or are you confused? If you did not get it, do not feel sorry or...you can feel sorry! How strange – truth is paradoxical!
