True intimacy is one-sided and non-judgmental. It starts from inside. The test for truth is to kick it. What is true will come back to you. If it comes back to you, it is yours. What goes away with a kick was never yours.
The nature of everything in creation is to come back home. Everything goes back to its origin. A plant comes from the soil and it goes back to the soil. Water comes up from the ocean and it goes back to the ocean. Coming back to the source is the nature of everything in creation. We are innocent when we are born. When we become very old, we become like that again, innocent.
A child has little capacity to comprehend and communicate. When it goes through life and becomes an old man, it completes the circle, whether by choice or not by choice. Those who live long enough become like a child again. If you have ever spoken to people who are 95 or 100 years old, you will feel that they are like children now. They can’t understand or communicate. Like children they get stuck on one thing.
They say something and they stick to it. Children say, “Pa, pa, pa, pa”. In same way old people also repeat. When children do it, it is more joyful, although sometimes the mother gets angry at the children. But when old people do it you feel frustrated because your way of looking at a child and an old man is totally different. Your expectation from both of them is totally different.
So your own expectations cause irritations in you. Your own judgements cause irritations in you. True intimacy is non-judgmental. It is not looking at whether the old person loves you or not, whether the other person loves you or not, whether the other person treats you well or not. That is none of your business. If I want to be intimate with somebody, I take it for granted that they feel they love me. When you doubt whether the other person loves you or not, then your love for the other person goes down.
There is no way you can know the love of another person. If you base your perception only on the expression of love, you are mis-lead. Someone may say, “Oh, you are so wonderful, I love you so much”. And if you think that they mean that, or if you think someone who doesn’t say, “Oh I love you so much”, doesn’t love you, then you are mistaken. Action does not always represent the truth of the state of being.
In true intimacy you stop looking at the act and you Start being in love. So if you have determined to love somebody, do not even think whether they love you are not. You love them. That is enough. If they kick you to see whether the love in you is true or not, then you should have more happiness. Then, also you give love back. True love is coming back to the self. That is true intimacy.
