Hong Kong,
July 5 2010
Whatever you give, you get back. Nature is like that; it reflects what we give to the world.
Can you hear me?(in a dim whispering tone)
This much is the effect in what we talk, and our voice is not heard. The voice of righteousness, peace and non-violence should be heard loud and clear. The main reason for stress is that we feel we are not understood by people, by our spouse, our colleagues, our parents, or our children. This communication problem creates a great storm. Children complain that parents don’t understand them, and parents complain that children don’t understand them.
How many parents have experienced this? (A show of hands)
We all have communication problems, either with brothers, or sisters, or any other relation. How many of you agree with this? Spouses don’t have to raise their hands; I don’t want to be the cause of a storm at home! (Everyone laughs.)
We think we are misunderstood, and this is a very common problem. But instead of blaming the other, we need to express ourselves better. Suppose I speak to you in Swahili, you would not be able to understand. Yet there is a language that everyone, even animals and trees can understand, and that is the language of the heart. You don’t need words for this, but your very presence can communicate this. If you have a dog or puppy, it doesn’t use words to express its love when you return from office; instead their mere presence exhibits the language of love.
As children, we were born with this, but somewhere along the way we got muddled up.
The world thinks you are better than you are. If you think you have 100 per cent goodness, the world thinks you have 200 percent. The world always honors you. You honor the world and it reflects on you. The same is the case with bad things like blame. It will reflect on the person. Your situation in life is a reflection of how you feel.
Laws of Spirituality
1) Stop blaming yourself: This is the first law on the spiritual path.
Don’t blame yourself and others.Stop blaming yourself. 'I am no good', 'I don’t do this right', 'I have this weakness'. If you keep blaming yourself, you can never be spiritual. Both good things and not-so-good things happen in life.
If you keep blaming yourself, you lose your smile and self-confidence. Then anger and frustration comes up, and that ferments to violence. Violence causes suicidal tendencies.
2) Stop blaming others: Everyone is just a postman, delivering the letter, the parcel due to you. If you expect sweets when you ordered chillies, it is not the delivery person's fault.
If you want to tell someone about their mistake, tell them with care, not with anger. Tell them firmly but with a smile and compassion.
3) The whole world is your family, and you have no enemies. This is the third law of spirituality. If you can’t accept the whole world as your family, then start with ‘I have no enemies'. Such peace will dawn in life; nothing can take away that peace.
Q: How can a relationship between a man and woman be successful?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: I would like to give one advice for men, one for women and one for both.
First for women: Never hurt your man's ego. You should always pump his ego.
The whole world may say that your husband has no brains, but you should not say that! You should tell your husband that he has the best brains in the world. And that just because he doesn't use it, doesn't mean that he doesn't have it!
If you call him a vegetable, he will become one. A woman should never demand proof from a man. Men are not so expressive, so don’t expect compliments. Instead, she should compliment him.
For men: Never hurt the emotions of a woman. She may sometimes complain about her family, about her brother, or her father, or her mother. You should not agree with that. If you do, then she will take a U-turn. Never insult her family. Don’t stop her from going for shopping, or going to a spiritual or religious program. If she wants to go for shopping, give her your credit card.
Now for both: Never ask for proof of someone's love for you. Don’t ask each other, “Do you really love me? You don't love me like you used to earlier.” It is such a load for someone to prove their love to others. If someone asks you to prove your love, you would say "Oh my God! How do I prove it to this person?”
Catch the rest of the conversation in the next post..
“That which you cannot express is Love.
That which you cannot reject/renounce is Beauty.
That which you cannot avoid is the Truth.”
That which you cannot reject/renounce is Beauty.
That which you cannot avoid is the Truth.”
~ Sri Sri Ravishankar
© The Art of Living Foundation
