Nobody expects a good person to make a mistake. So, the better you are as a person, the higher the expectations people have of you. It is then that you lose your freedom. Your virtues and good actions are like a golden cage. You are trapped by your own good actions, for everyone expects more from a good person. Nobody expects anything from a bad person. Honour reduces the freedom. Your fame, honour and virtue can limit your freedom.
Most of the people are stuck in this cage of prestige and honor. They cannot smile. They are constantly worried about keeping up their prestige and their honor. It becomes more important than their own lives. Just being good or doing good to keep the prestige and honor is worthless. Prestige and honor can bring more misery in life than poverty.
Many desire fame, but little do they know that they are looking for a cage. It is an art to be dignified, yet not suffocated by it. Only the wise would know this. For the wise, it is natural to be in honor, and he is not concerned even if it falls apart. Despite having fame or prestige, he will live as though he has none. A wise person can handle any fame without feeling suffocated, for he is crazy too!
In any situation, you give your 100% and then that’s it! If people expect more from you, say, “I am so sorry, I can’t do this.” If you are not a doctor and somebody expects you to treat them, what would you do? Will you give them an injection just to satisfy them? No! You have to honestly tell them, “My dear, I am sorry,” and they will understand that. You give your 100% and that is how you manage others' expectations.
Now, you expect others to do something for you. Well, if they don’t do it, don’t become miserable. Have compassion and see that this is the limit of their capacity. They have not learned the art of expression. Don’t expect someone to say, “Thank you,” and all nice things. Suppose they don’t thank you, have compassion on them that they haven’t been trained or cultured that way. You simply have to see beyond an event or incident.
Take it to a bigger scale and you will see that, in this world, the behavior of people is the outcome of their upbringing, their education and their environment. If they lack these three things, it shows in their behavior. So, instead of blaming them, feel sorry for them – they didn’t get the education that you got. They haven’t developed the same type of sensitivity that you have. You are sensitive to others demands; they aren’t. Suppose someone does something for you, you express your gratefulness and thank them. If they don’t reciprocate, you simply have to attribute it to their lack of education and culture rather than blaming them. If you blame them, you feel bitter, but if you attribute it to lack of culture or education, you are at peace!
