Memory make you miserable or wise. Memory of experiences and events in the ever-changing world, however good or bad constrict the vastness of the Self. They bind you. Memory of your nature, the non-changing self, expands and elevates awareness. This liberates you. You are what you are because of your memory. If you are ignorant, it is because of your memory. If you are enlightened, it is because of your memory. Forgetfulness of the infinite is misery. Forgetfulness of the trivial is ecstasy.
Now, how do we get rid of unpleasant memories and limitations? Know the impermanent nature of the world and events. Realise that past events do not exist in the present. Accept the past and drop it. Be dispassionate and centred. Memory of the Self is gained in the company and service of the Enlightened. “So Hum” increases prana or “So What?”, if nothing works, go to God. When you are miserable, know that you have gone away from the self. This is called ashaucha, becoming unclean.
In India when someone dies, the close relatives are said to be ashaucha for 10 days because they are very sad. They are impure because they have moved away from the self. After 10 days of just living through that experience and reading the Bhagavad Gita, being with the knowledge and pulling themselves back into the Self, they become shaucha. They have purged the impurities that arose during those events.
This happens again and again in life. You become ashaucha and then you must get back to shaucha. Go deeper into yourself; then real shaucha happens. Shaucha’s benefits are clarity in the intellect, a pleasing mind, focused awareness, control over the senses and thus eligibility to realize the Self. Shaucha is disinterest in the tendencies of your own senses.
You have the understanding, “Oh yes, here is this old familiar tendency again. Come on, I have had this experience enough, and still my body craves for it again”. By being disinterested for a moment in one's own body and senses – just an idea, a sort of distaste, you will find that the situation changes.
Why do people love each other so much, have such an intimate relationship, and then fight? Ashaucha has happened. If you do not have distaste for the tendency of the senses, then distaste for the object of the senses is bound to come and you will blame the person or object.
Your attraction or craving can exist only as long as you think someone is “other”. When you think they are a part of you or your self, then the attraction dies out. That is why a husband or a wife may not be attracted to their partner but to someone else, because their partner has already become a part of them. When you realize everyone is part of your Self, you enjoy the whole world without a sense of craving.
When ashaucha happens, quickly come back to shaucha. Suppose you feel drowned in any worldly event, just know this is ashaucha - know “that is why I am miserable”. Then come back to shaucha. Your spiritual practices, meditation, Sudarshan Kriya, seva (service), and Satsang will all help you. When you share your misery, it does not reduce. When you do not share your joy, it reduces. Share your problems only with the Divine, not with anyone else, as that will only increase the problems. Share your joy with everyone.
How do we help people who share their misery with us? I have a thousand and one ways. Often it happens that when they share their problem with me, it is immediately resolved. Other times it requires some patience. Just know that all will be taken care of. Listen to others, yet do not listen. If your mind gets stuck in their problems, not only are they miserable, but you also become miserable. Be caring and share with them the knowledge.
The mind lives on “more”. Misery starts with “more and more” and misery makes you dense and gross. The self is subtle. To go from gross to subtle, you must go through the finest level of the relative, the atom. To overcome aversion, hatred, jealousy, attraction or entanglements, you have to take yourself to the atom. Taking yourself to the atom means accepting a tiny bit of all of this. It may be difficult to accept something you do not like but you can definitely accept a tiny bit of an atom.
The moment you accept that one atom, you will see change occur. But this must be done in a meditative state. Suppose you love someone. You want more and more of them, yet there is no fulfilment. In anuvrat, the vow of an atom, you take just one atom of that person and that is enough to bring fulfilment to you. Though the river is vast, a little sip quenches your thirst. Though the earth has so much food, just a small bite satisfies your hunger. All that you need are tiny bits. Accept a tiny bit of everything in life, that will bring you fulfilment.
